Simple Things part 3

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RoxxyRobofox
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Simple Things part 3

Post by RoxxyRobofox » Fri Oct 11, 2013 5:50 pm

serenbeepity
Last edited by RoxxyRobofox on Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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DollSpace
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Re: Simple Things part 3

Post by DollSpace » Sat Oct 12, 2013 6:53 am

Very good..I just wish there was more! Maybe a fanfic at some point lol :) Congratulations.

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Re: Simple Things part 3

Post by Uhoh » Sat Oct 12, 2013 3:10 pm

Denied her Proof of Sentience, shorted in the rain, almost got scrapped... and made out with enough to try again and keep going. Great story, hope she finally passes the POSE :)

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fection
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Re: Simple Things part 3

Post by fection » Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:48 pm

Yeah, good work, DarkRexx! This really evoked a real world. And the ambiguity about OS' sentience was cool. Nice one.

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Re: Simple Things part 3

Post by Robjoe » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:48 am

When I first entered this topic, I quickly scrolled down to the bottom of your post simply to see how long this part was. I accidentally saw "Fin~", however, and couldn't believe it was already over.

Buuuuuut after reading it, I think this is actually a really good place to leave it off. You resolved the plot thread of OS's short-circuit, and even left her with a bit of hope. However, the part I especially like about it is that hope is all she has. There's no certainty, no definite resolution of all her issues.

An ambiguous ending, when implemented poorly, can leave the reader feeling very dissatisfied, frustratingly confused, and in the worst cases comes off as the story simply stopping before it actually ends. In this circumstance, however, I personally think it works marvelously. I really like OS's character, and the spice of it comes from her constant struggles and failings. To that end, an ending in which she receives all the upgrades she needs and passes the POSE would have devalued her character--for me at least.

Plus, this leaves the door completely open to additional stories about these characters, which would in this case be be very welcome.

Maybe one day she'll actually achieve her goals of functioning effectively and passing the POSE. Maybe she never will. The uncertainty I'm left with really puts me in her perspective. It's the same uncertainty she must feel with each passing day.

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Re: Simple Things part 3

Post by tectile » Wed Oct 16, 2013 5:34 am

Well done!

This was a fun one.

--NightBattery--

Re: Simple Things part 3

Post by --NightBattery-- » Wed Oct 16, 2013 4:12 pm

8) a very well developed set of robot characters can be more exciting than fast paced nudity.
to me the part stripping attempt was pretty much like robot porn anyway.

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