LIVEWIRE with BUFFYBOT: Fembot/Bionic SHOWDOWN continues...

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 5:50 pm

....Cue STEPFORD MARY.........AND---GO!

Stepford Mary--{ Okay--I will GO, but I must FIRST recite this limerick intro for LIVEWIRE......... OF BUFFYBOT, I CAN ONLY SAY FLATTERY
FROM HER AWESOMENESS, I GET QUITE CHATTERY....AS I CALCULATE AND BLINK, I HAVE THE ANSWER, I THINK--THAT THEY MUST'VE INSTALLED A NEW BATTERY.............and now, HERE'S BUFFYYYYYBOT!!!!

THANK YOU, STEPFORD MARY!--i think..I'M-BUFFYBOT-YES-THAT-IS-ME.....we are still in the midst of ironing out a lot of wrinkles in the FINAL SHOWDOWN of the topic 'WHICH IS BETTER--FEMBOTS OR BIONICS? --we are in the process of trying to find impartial JUDGES for the BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE set for the week of Thanksgiving......Stepford Mary......who have you found for an interview TODAY?

Stepford Mary> First, from HOLLYWOOD, we have in our studio, comely fembot actress HILLARY DUFF ....

BUFFYBOT>> What makes you think that Hillary Duff is a fellow FEMBOT, Stepford Mary?

Stepford Mary>> she does not mind that her last name is another word for BUTTOCKS, but the main reason why i suspect her inner NOID, is that she plays a teenage robot who malfunctions quite regularly on her show LIZZIE Mc WIRES .............AM I SMART OR WHAT?

BUFFYBOT>> i'll go for the 'OR WHAT" part there.......MISS HILLARY DUFF --welcome to LIVEWIRE with BUFFYBOT.....are you prepared to become one of the judges for FEMBOTS VERSUS BIONICS?

Hillary Duff>> uummm, like, CAN I PLUG one of my movies or CD'S???

BUFFYBOT>>>No, but you can plug STEPFORD MARY in over there ....I think she's running on LOW WATTAGE....

Hillary Duff >> "oh, like, EWWWW!--you're like, ROBOTS or some junk?

BUFFYBOT>>Well, DUH!

Hillary Duff>> Where's my MANAGER???, DOES THIS GIRL HAVE A DVD PLAYER inside--KARAOKE?--what?----oh, I'm like, trippin' it's so FREAKY!
....ARE THERE ANY BOYBOTS BACK THERE teeheee...LIKE JUSTIN LAND'O'LAKES? --HE'S A HOTTIE!---like BUTTAH!

BUFFYBOT>> Enough Duff....we now can bring in some MORE candidates for JUDGES for THE BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE ....here are famed RAPPERS 'BIGGIE FRIES" and "ICEHOLE"

"YEAH YEAH YEAH!-- COMMEAR YOU ROBOT BITCHES, KNOWHATI'M SAAAAYIN'?--I LIKEDID DAT TERMINATOR THREE MOVIE, ASSIMILATE ME SEVEN OF NINE, I WANT TO SHARE MY HARDWARE!" "YEAH!YEAH! --LIKE DOWNLOAD....GET DOWN ON ME AND I'LL DROP A LOAD" YEAH, I LIKEDID DAT, KNOWHATI'M SAYYYYYIN?"

BUFFYBOT>>>>>YOU WILL TREAT ME WITH PROPER RESPECT!!! DON'T MAKE ME BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR ASSES WHEN I'M KICKING YOU OUT!

....FOLKS, we still have a way to go in the selection process....excuse me while I implant my reboot into some impolite BUTTS........ MAYBE I SHOULD ASK FOR VOLUNTEER JUDGES from the memberlists? -- I will leave you all with a nice action shot of two pigs flying........ get out your cameras, and sell the pics to the Enquirer.... --Buffybot

Brytestar · Post by **Brytestar** » Sun Nov 23, 2003 1:37 pm

<Jake sighs as he looks on as the fiasco unfolds.>

Jake: Looks like someone forgot to reprogram Stepford Mary again.

April: Master?

Jake: <picks up the phone and disguising his voice.> Yes...is this Livewire with the famous Buffybot?.......yes......Can you tell how often Stepford Mary's hard drive gets defragmented?.....really...thank you...

<He hangs up the phone>

April: Well Master?

Jake: They never defragment her at all. Shame on Buffybot! How is that T3 unit?

April: I can send her out right now.

Jake: Do so...

<The T3 unit is sent to talk to Buffybot>

Triumph · Post by **Triumph** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 8:25 am

I would be happy to be a judge, but Stepford Mary seems to have something against poop. I can tell you right now that the Westminster Dog Show would not even admit the bionicles because they are half-breeds. By the way, ask Stepford Mary how she is liking being on Wanda At Large! Still looking good HONEY! Don't worry about the T-X; she's with me now. OH YES! I programmed her to have better taste so she can also get rid of the (c)rappers for you. Once you go with a pooper you won't go back!

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 6:14 pm

.....Preparations for the next LIVEWIRE WITH BUFFYBOT segment are beginning....Jake has sent in his T-3 unit, and she get's into the studio with ease. Of COURSE she did, or else this story wouldn't progress....see, I have to get this rolling for the Thanksgiving holiday......and SO......

T-3 >>> (YOU ARE THE ONE THEY CALL "BUFFYBOT" ARE YOU NOT?"

BUFFYBOT>>> I'm BUFFYBOT, YES, THAT IS ME....

T-3 >>>(I WAS SENT HERE TO TALK TO YOU)

BUFFYBOT>>>CONGRATULATIONS! --you just DID, mission accomplished, GET LOST, GO BACK TO HOMEBASE and FOR GAWDSAKES ...DO SOMETHING WITH THAT HAIR.

T-3 >>> WELL I NEVER!

BUFFYBOT>>>WELL PERHAPS THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM.... now TALK TO THE FIST in your FACE....get lost...I have so much to do with setting up this showdown, I'm using backup reserves.

T-3 saunters away, the smell of RED PLEATHER wafts in the air....

Let me see...we have NEW SPONSORS for the big FEMBOT/BIONIC SHOWDOWN.....always a good sign..... BOTTERY BARN--crafting and repair supply house for the DO IT YOURSELF gynoid.......and NOIDSTROM'S DEPARTMENT STORE.......for the bot who can spend A LOT...... WOW! --WE'RE GOING TO RAKE IT IN.
NOW for IMPARTIAL JUDGES.....we have actress(?) Hilary Duff, and TRIUMPH so far......we need a third to break any ties their may be...... STEPFORD MARY!!! SEND IN ANOTHER INTERVIEWee for the JUDGE position for THE BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE......

STEPFORD MARY>>> (MOO! MOO! MOOOOO!)

BUFFYBOT>>> CLAY AIKIN??? No WAY! --WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, STEPFORD MARY??/--PUTTING MAGNETS on your forehead??? -- that's NO WAY TO BEHAVE! --SHALL I PUNCH YOU DRAMATICALLY until it's driven into your memory bank? I DID MAGGIES for quite a while, and although you get to experience many swirly colors.

--Buffybot........One HOT DATE, who's SOLID STATE.

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 7:49 pm

..............KIDS....through the magic of bad punctuation...the last gag didn't get written correctly.......see....BUFFYBOT was meaning to stop Stepford Mary from putting MAGNETS on her forehead.....which is equivilent of taking DRUGS in the land of Fembots.....you lose MEMORY that way .....and that was the gag.........."although you experience the fine aray of colors ....................(it's implied that she has lost her memory of what happens next) ------------- yeah, I know.....in the world of COMEDY, if you have to explain the gag, it's not a GOOD GAG.......but I digress...... BUFFYBOT...LET'S PICK UP THE PACE AND GET THE SHOWDOWN ON THE ROAD! --People want to see sparks fly !!! ---MINKWHEEL.

ButchyBoy · Post by **ButchyBoy** » Thu Nov 27, 2003 12:26 am

I've heard a nasty rumor that Team Bionics are sneaking in super soakers filled with salt water to the showdown.........don't know how true it is, but if asked you didn't hear it from me

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 8:18 am

GOING LIVE IN FIVE---FOUR--THREE--------CUE STEPFORD MARY!

---(We interrupt everyone's holiday for a special newsflash regarding THE LOWDOWN ON THE SHOWDOWN>>While preparations are still being made for the long awaited FEMBOTS VS BIONICS BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE set to air on LIVEWIRE WITH BUFFYBOT soon...we have just learned from a reliable source that TEAM BIONICS-led by Majorpain STEVE AUSTIN-- has been planning to squeak in an EDGE in battle with utilizing SUPERSOAKERS aimed at all fembots in comptetion....while in theory, this would pose a threat to most in the robotic persuasion...we believe at LIVEWIRE that it is nothing but a cheap thriil for Mr Austin's fetish for WET JUMPSUIT CONTESTS....exposing an innocent fembot's BOLTS for a middleaged man's cheap thrill.......This special report can only pose a true threat to the informant who wishes to ruin Austin's career....and we are sworn to protect our informant's identity to the best of our ability so no harm can come to him...................REPORTING LIVE FROM BUTCHYBOY'S HOUSE.....this is STEPFORD MARY ----------BACK TO YOU, Buffybot!

Buffybot>>>>>> God, what an idiot.

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Tue Dec 02, 2003 5:43 pm

.....CUE STEPFORD MARY IN FIVE--FOUR--three--two......

--(....and NOW--HERE'S THE GIRL WITH A JACK IN HER BACK, and CHIPS IN HER HIPS....BUFFFFFYYYYYYBOT!)--

BuffyBot>>> --(uh, THANK YOU STEPFORD MARY---but I think that your rhymes are getting a bit lame.....try another one.....

----( uh......Here is the BIMBO who can run WINDOWS...BUFFYYYYYBOT!)--

JAM THAT ONE, STEPFORD MARY.....GIVE ME A PROPER INTRO OR I WILL HAVE SOME "RAINY DAY FUN" involving you, and an ELECTRO MAGNET!

>>>>>>>>>>>.MOOOoooo!....I'm a VERY LUCKY GIRL! -- NOW, HERE'S A BOT WHO BELIEVES ALL DALEKS are PHALICS .....BUFFYYYYBOT!

..............OH, BROTHER....NO ONE'S GOING TO GET THAT REFERENCE, especially if you don't say it without the obligatory British accent! --I'll have to take that one as my intro today.......HELLO-EVERYONE--I'M BUFFYBOT--yes-that-is-ME! -----reporting on the statis of THE LOWDOWN ON THE SHOWDOWN....we have finally secured our three judges for the BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE Bionics VS Fembots ------ TRIUMPH has graciously volunteered, but I think he just wants to take home a few of the participants.......we also have ACTRESS(?) HILARY DUFF, and in order to keep HER happy, and on the judging staff, we agreed to have her choice of third judge come in..........JUSTIN LAND'O'LAKES from the POP boyband 'P.B.N.J.."
..............THAT' THERE'S the deal....and ONTO THE ART OF THE DEAL, I'm RAKING IT IN folks! ---we've hawked this battle for so long that advertisers feel that the demand for the show is so great, they are so willing to advertise on it, and will pay me BOCOUP BUCKAGE even if it's SUCKAGE! --but we promise that SPARKS WILL FLY, LOSERS WILL CRY, BOUNTY TOWELS ARE THREE PLY, .............this message has been brought to you by Bounty Towels. I must get back to the fray.........and please don't worry about the rumor about Majorpain Steve Austin using SUPERSOAKERS on UNSUSPECTING FEMBOTS.....unless HASBRO wants to make me a deal........... ---Buffybot

Baron · Post by **Baron** » Tue Dec 02, 2003 11:38 pm

minkwheel wrote:GOING LIVE IN FIVE---FOUR--THREE--------CUE STEPFORD MARY!

This special report can only pose a true threat to the informant who wishes to ruin Austin's career....and we are sworn to protect our informant's identity to the best of our ability so no harm can come to him...................REPORTING LIVE FROM BUTCHYBOY'S HOUSE.....this is STEPFORD MARY ----------BACK TO YOU, Buffybot!

Buffybot>>>>>> God, what an idiot.

Ah, yes - good old Stepford Mary; yet another quality product from the fine folks at Boomers-R-Us....... :borg:

kb7rky · Post by **kb7rky** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 7:25 pm

Baron Latos wrote:
minkwheel wrote:GOING LIVE IN FIVE---FOUR--THREE--------CUE STEPFORD MARY!

This special report can only pose a true threat to the informant who wishes to ruin Austin's career....and we are sworn to protect our informant's identity to the best of our ability so no harm can come to him...................REPORTING LIVE FROM BUTCHYBOY'S HOUSE.....this is STEPFORD MARY ----------BACK TO YOU, Buffybot!

Buffybot>>>>>> God, what an idiot.
Ah, yes - good old Stepford Mary; yet another quality product from the fine folks at Boomers-R-Us....... :borg:

And I thought that particular Stepford Mary was from the fine folks at Robo Depot...

Doug

Baron · Post by **Baron** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 10:57 pm

kb7rky wrote:
Baron Latos wrote:
minkwheel wrote:GOING LIVE IN FIVE---FOUR--THREE--------CUE STEPFORD MARY!

This special report can only pose a true threat to the informant who wishes to ruin Austin's career....and we are sworn to protect our informant's identity to the best of our ability so no harm can come to him...................REPORTING LIVE FROM BUTCHYBOY'S HOUSE.....this is STEPFORD MARY ----------BACK TO YOU, Buffybot!

Buffybot>>>>>> God, what an idiot.
Ah, yes - good old Stepford Mary; yet another quality product from the fine folks at Boomers-R-Us....... :borg:

And I thought that particular Stepford Mary was from the fine folks at Robo Depot...

Doug

No, no NO!!! R-D built the original Stepford Mary just for the film. Once shooting wrapped, she was mothballed, and utimately was recycled and is now in service under the identity of one Britney Spears.......

Triumph · Post by **Triumph** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 8:21 am

minkwheel wrote:reporting on the statis of THE LOWDOWN ON THE SHOWDOWN....we have finally secured our three judges for the BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE Bionics VS Fembots ------ TRIUMPH has graciously volunteered, but I think he just wants to take home a few of the participants.......we also have ACTRESS(?) HILARY DUFF, and in order to keep HER happy, and on the judging staff, we agreed to have her choice of third judge come in..........JUSTIN LAND'O'LAKES from the POP boyband 'P.B.N.J.." ---Buffybot

Very Nice, yes, very nice. I'm happy to say that I have already slept with both the fembots and bioniborgs since they thought they could get my vote by humping the judge. Fear not! I am an equal opportunity humper, as you know. I am still open to be persuaded, so take note Bots and Borgs! I will also be available to "console" the losers and "reward" the winners. OH YES!!! Everybody wins! I will even hump Hilary Duff-brand-beer and our lovely hostess to celebrate the occassion

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:04 pm

Hi Doug.....Stepford Mary actually WAS from Robo Depot.....the original slipshod discount Bot builder from my ancient posts on the Gynoid Gallery .........she tells me that she IS flattered that you have written about her ....because she is a fan of your WORLD FAMOUS children's book

GREEN EGGS AND HAM RADIO"

so when's the MOVIE version coming out?
----minkwheel.

kb7rky · Post by **kb7rky** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 12:13 am

minkwheel wrote:Hi Doug.....Stepford Mary actually WAS from Robo Depot.....the original slipshod discount Bot builder from my ancient posts on the Gynoid Gallery .........she tells me that she IS flattered that you have written about her ....because she is a fan of your WORLD FAMOUS children's book

GREEN EGGS AND HAM RADIO"

so when's the MOVIE version coming out?
----minkwheel.

LOL!

That made my day!

Well, Mike Myers was a tad busy with The Cat, so production has been shelved until after BSG '03...

Doug

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 7:17 am

OKAY....CUE STEPFORD MARY IN five, four, three......

Stepford Mary>>>I am CUED, and I am CUTE! --AND NOW.....FOR CHRISTMAS, ALL SHE DESIRES are batteries and a new set of PLIERS .....here's BUFFYYYYYYYYYYBOT!

Buffybot>>>>>>geez----STEPFORD MARY....you put the 'OY!" in GYNOID ...did you know that? .......HEL-LO-EVERYONE--I'M BUFFYBOT-YES-THAT-IS -ME....and today, we are going to run down the list of combattlers for the BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE....AND IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

Just then......six feet of BLONDE walks in, and time kinda stops.... steel blue eyes, and titanium thighs.....and the sighs of guys from the earth to the skies.......

>>>>>>>BUFFYBOT as you call yourself.....THIS BATTLE OF YOURS IS OF TOTAL NONSENSE, for I alone am the dominant force to be reconned with ....I AM NUMBER SIX, latest model from the scurge of the universe ...the dreaded NYLONS from 'BATTLESTAR GALACKEDaPLOT"

Buffybot>> Get LOST! --GO BACK TO THAT BATTLESTAR GALAXATIVE or whatever, and let me get back to business...and WHAT KIND OF NAME IS 'Number Six" ...DID YOUR CREATOR think of that name after looking at a DENNY'S MENU or something???

Number Six>>>A SIMPLE FIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO OF US will teach you not to mock the name 'NUMBER SIX"

Buffybot>>> IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT....LIKE YOUR DENNY'S MENU NAMESAKE, this battle will be OVER EASY!!! BRING IT ON, NYLON!!!

Stepford Mary>>>REALLY, Number Six---DON'T BE SUCH A POOPER!
_____________________________________________________________
Cue some cool fighting music....I don't have the Galactica soundtrack handy, so I have to sub in some groovy BATMAN TV series FIGHTIN' bgm
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Number Six starts with a high kick, which Buffybot ducks and dodges easily ...but the kick connects with poor STEPFORD MARY....who flings back, and loses her faceplate from the forciful kick.....

Stepford Mary>>>>Oh MY! --I feel a little LIGHT HEADED....I'D BETTER GO AND FIX MY FACE before company comes.......Wheeeeeeeee!

Look as she may, she cannot find her faceplate....so she has to get creative......meanwhile, the groovy fight music is still playing, so we have to wrap up the fight, don't we?

Buffybot>>>>Never mess with ME, YOU DUMB NYLON!
--------------------------EDITOR'S NOTE....SINCE WE DIDN'T HAVE PERMISSION TO USE NUMBER SIX'S COPYRIGHTED IMAGE for long.... well......let's just say that the BATTLE WAS A GREAT ONE, AND BUFFYBOT WON.......WE'RE SAVING THE AWE INSPIRING STUFF FOR THE BIG BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE.......yeah, that'll hold 'em for a while......... BACK TO THE SIDE STORY.................

Stepford Mary>>>>

Buffybot>>>> you look a little DIFFERENT Stepford Mary....what gives?
Stepford Mary>>>

Well...after being kicked by that Nylon, I lost my faceplate....so I drew a smileyface on a DIXIE LIVINGWARE paper plate, and put it on until I can find my face again...I'm a very lucky girl

Buffybot>>>by the WAY, Stepford Mary......WAY to get CREATIVE...I really like the TATOOS you put on your face as well....WAY COOL!-- BUT I CAN'T MAKE 'EM OUT.....what are they?

Stepford Mary

I didn't draw any tatoos....that is the china pattern...DUCKIES AND BUNNIES

Buffybot>>>>> Oh we are SOOOOO done here. Switching off for today.