Questions to confuse "The ALICES"

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Tue May 08, 2007 5:16 pm

I think that everyone here has seen the STAR TREK original series episode "I MUDD" .... you know....a whole planet full of lovely androids and all of the spoils... Kirk and the crew just HAD to screw up EVERYTHING by fiddling with THE ALICES' collective A.I. --- well, guess WHAT kids? - THE PLANET HAS BEEN REBUILT, AND I HAVE BEEN SELECTED as THE BETA TESTER for the new ALICE units...! --COOL, huh? -- I was asked to try and come up with tricky questions to try and "trip up" THE ALICES....and I think I am going to need EVERYONE'S HELP on the boards here to help me test their logic by writing challenging things for THE NEW ALICES to sort out..... as luck would have it.... HERE THEY COME NOW!

HELLO LOVELY ALICES! --- COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME THAT BOTTLE OF SNAPPLE OVER THERE?

LOVELY ALICES>>> CERTAINLY...MY-LORD!

minkwheel>>>NAH...JUST "MINKWHEEL" will do.

LOVELY ALICES>>>CERTAINLY-JUST-MINKWHEEL......HERE IS YOUR SNAPPLE.

minkwheel>>>>>THANK YOU!---OH, ALICES....WOULD YOU PLEASE READ the label for me?

LOVELY ALICES>>>SERVING SIZE--ONE BOTLE---SERVINGS PER CONTAINER---TWO.........

minkwheel>>>ALICES....DOES THIS MEAN THAT THIS CONTAINER CONTAINS....TWO CONTAINERS FULL OF SERVINGS? --I AM GETTING FOUR BOTTLES INSIDE THIS ONE CONTAINER?

LOVELY ALICES>>>>>(staring into space).............. Beeepbeeeepbeeep beeeeeepbeeepBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!

minkwheel>>>> it's just SO MUCH FUN to CONFUSE THE ALICES.... will someone HELP ME OUT?

tinyspider · Post by **tinyspider** » Tue May 08, 2007 9:28 pm

...So, Alice, do you think your uh, sister is sexy?, 'cause I think YOU ARE very sexy but the other Alice is not...
Alice 1: Yeah I agree uh... wait a minute, if she's not sexy, then I'm... and we're identical... er... BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I think i sucked on this one, but what the hell

jolshefsky · Post by **jolshefsky** » Wed May 09, 2007 5:08 am

Me: "ALICE, please watch this YouTube video and find the fembot in it."

ALICE: "There is no fembot in this. It is a video of a girl 'dancing the robot'."

M: "But it was posted on FembotCentral as having fembots in it."

A: "It has no fembots."

M: "That's not possible: nobody on FembotCentral would waste their peers' time on a 35-minute video of human girls 'dancing the robot' if there were no fembots in it."

A: "This is not logical. NORMAN, coordinate."

tectile · Post by **tectile** » Wed May 09, 2007 5:53 am

araenae wrote:...So, Alice, do you think your uh, sister is sexy?, 'cause I think YOU ARE very sexy but the other Alice is not...
Alice 1: Yeah I agree uh... wait a minute, if she's not sexy, then I'm... and we're identical... er... BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I think i sucked on this one, but what the hell

I think Mr. Spock said it best.

"I love you, I hate you".

What a great idea for a thread. Well done Mink.

Wish I could think of something clever to add but the well is dry at the moment.

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Wed May 09, 2007 2:19 pm

THANK YOU, Mr. Tectile, sir......let me see if I can trip up THE ALICES some more.....

OH, ALICES....PLEASE come HERE for a moment....

LOVELY ALICES>>> Yes, Just Minkwheel sir....

Just Minkwheel>>>> I take pride in knowing all of the ingredients in the foods that I eat to know that I am getting the proper nutrition.... Alice 277 ...please open this jar of HORSERADISH, and remove all of the HORSE ...but leave all of the raddish....THANK YOU!
....ALICE 32.....PLEASE TAKE THIS BOX OF GRAPE NUTS CEREAL, and remove all of the NUTS.... THANK YOU!

LOVELY ALICES>>>> There......are....NO GRAPES...NO NUTS..... NO HORSES...........NO..........RADISHES..................... beeepbeeeepbeeeep BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:17 am

Time to TRIP UP THE ALICES once again......

Just Minkwheel>>> Oh, Lovely Alices... please come over here to the breakfast table......

LOVELY ALICES>>> Yes...JUSTMINKWHEEL, Sir.

Just Minkwheel>>>>>Like I've said before... I enjoy knowing about healthy ingredients in all of my food and drink.... Please scan this carton of TROPICANA ORANGE JUICE for me.....it takes 10 oranges to fill that carton... yet the carton says....

LOVELY ALICES>>>> CONTAINS TWO SERVINGS OF FRUIT..... .......... Blank stares and heads tilting...........BOOOP...boopbooopboopboop Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!!!

Don'tcha just LOVE April Fools' Day? ---minkwheel

----Should I bother the Alices about this pack of FIVE GUM? -- there are 15 PIECES in the pack..............or ask them to fetch me a twelve pack of PEPSI ONE? ------- Nah...! --they'll start to SMOKE. I ain't THAT cruel. --minkwheel

droidlvr · Post by **droidlvr** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:19 am

Oh no.

Baron · Post by **Baron** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:14 am

Hmmmm..........

If two quarters are fifty cents, and seven dimes and one nickel are seventy five cents, how much is a bunch of pennies?

Why do we drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?

Alice, you know what a hot-water heater is, right? Can you tell me why we need to heat water that's already hot?

If a tree falls and nobody is around to hear it, does the Pope still crap in the woods?

How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

If you multiply two numbers into infinity, will the final answer be positive or negative?

Alice, can you explain Howie Mandel, Pauly Shore, and John Tesch's music for me?

Oh, dear - I KNEW that last one would do it!!!

Sorry about that, Chief........

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:43 pm

Oooooooooooooh!---PRETTY! --Cherry 2000

tectile · Post by **tectile** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:28 am

Poor Alice had trouble with the orange juice problem because she couldn't concentrate.

Wah Wah!

Badoom Pshhh

Come on, someone had to say it

minkwheel · Post by **minkwheel** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:49 pm

....and my hat goes off to YOU, MR. TECTILE sir, for the BEST PUN of the day---YOU DIDN'T GO THE EASY ROUTE by saying "ORANGE YOU GLAD WE DON'T HAVE TO CONFUSE THE ALICES ANYMORE?" --nope... you went for a more NAVEL approach. -- groan if you must. --minkwheel

Batou · Post by **Batou** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:27 pm

Aye, let me, tryÂ´er:

ahe, Alice ones, what's thy purpose of thou?
_"Certainly our purpose is to serve you the best way we can good lord"
would ye all do the best too keep my happy?
_"We would do anything to guarantee your complete satisfaction as our program allow us master"
haa...ok, i need ya to take me to the main computer room
_"Our apologies sir, but we are not allowed to let any one to enter in the main system in order to prevent any risk befalling on our most valuable guest, but we are programed to serve you in many other ways (big smile)"
...haamm, Alice, assume everything i say it's da absolute truth. everything i say is true or false?
_"Everything that the master say is true"
i say that all thy A.I sistem is malfunctioning and in order to repair it i must be brought to thy main computers room, am i not brought to the computer room you would be attempting to not serve me, is because the malfunction that you cant allow me to enter in the main computer room, since you know everything i say is true you must let me enter in thy main computer room! answer me in three seconds when i say now for second time. not answering in three seconds is because you are refusing to serve me

....now.

[then she froze's and instead an elaborated answer she makes some mono syllabous for a time before answer:]

"Greetings good master may i serve you in some way, do you want some thing to drink?, or you need something else in which i can assist you.

DAMN IT!