In real life ...

[jolshefsky]

Ok, so I decided to dispense with the "Vincent" persona and switch to my real self. I was kind of inspired by Paul Leeming who made the movie Eve that we've been discussing.

It's really another way to get the things I say to match that which I do. I get disgusted by others who hide their idiosyncrasies for fear of offending some social norm. Well, it's hypocritical of me to say that and then to hide behind a fake screen name to avoid exactly the kind of flack that I expect others to deal with. So here I am. Jason Olshefsky from Rochester, New York.

I realize that others indulge a fantasy of having an alternative persona and I respect that they specifically wanted to create a fantasy-self to play with. I was simply using a false identity to avoid people Google-ing my name and finding something about me that they don't understand that they could ostracize me for.

I admit that I have an advantage over myself just a few months ago: I now have a supportive girlfriend who knows my penchant for the robot ladies and loves me anyway -- even if she likes to make fun of me now and then about it.

But for now I'll put myself out there and see what happens. It'll take a few weeks for the search engines to crawl around (although my Google Alert should notify me the moment this post is found) and then a few more months ... years ... to find out what the repercussions are.

The key thing is this: I want to live in a world where one's fantasies -- no matter how bizarre -- are recognized as simply part of who they are as an individual. I didn't get a choice in the matter: it was simply the serendipity of who I was and what I saw during my life that cemented a specific kind of imagery into my sexual self. The same goes for anyone else. I want all these fantasies to be planted out in the open so we can honestly assess whether someone is harming themself or others.

I do not like the world we live in now where men shall be aroused by the sight of a desirable female and females shall be aroused by the sight of a desirable male -- and that any other desires are abnormal, harmful to the individual, and make their owner suitable for "treatment."

[rabiator]

While I'm not posting my real name so far, I'm using the pseudonym "Rabiator" across quite a number of sites, which makes it less than secure:
Uncover me on one site, and you might be able to find out a lot more about me .
So it is not exactly a secret I put much energy into keeping. That would require a lot more variety in my account-creating habits.

[Steamboy]

You forgot to put the option "all the previous ones"

[visceralpsyche]

Ok, so I decided to dispense with the "Vincent" persona and switch to my real self. I was kind of inspired by Paul Leeming who made the movie Eve that we've been discussing.

Eep! I'm inspiring people!!!

[Stephaniebot]

Well I do use Stephaniebot in more than one place, but its not my sole robot persona, but this is the one that gives the name away more. The other one is simply more functional and suitable for a robot!

Posting my surname is a step too far for my tastes though.

[andoroido]

Uh.. I thought it was just common sense.
Don't use your real name on any bulletin board.
Mainly because you don't know what kind of psychos are out there;
or just how twisted acquaintances, friends, bosses, lovers,
and especially
ex-lovers or people with other grudges
can be.

And the other thing is, anyone can say anything on the Internet.

So Mr "jolshefsky" if that is your real name, congratulations
on fighting your OWN personal demons and coming to terms with
YOUR issues in the way YOU see fit within YOUR life. That's great!

You noticed the CAPS, didn't you...

Please answer the following questions about your other personal idiosyncrasies:

1. How often do you take a shit?
2. Have you ever fantasized about a legally underage girl?
3. Do you use/Have you ever used any illegal drugs?
4. What's your salary?
5. Have you ever read a racist joke and laughed?
6. Who did you vote for?
7. Do you have any other sexual kinks?
8. How often do you.. ahem , take care of yourself?
9. Would you feel more comfortable if some people announced their fantasies of anally raping any of your younger siblings/cousins?
10. Have you ever had even the slightest urge to hurt someone physically?
11. While making love to your girlfriend what fantasies have popped into your head? who was in those fantasies? and did you tell her?

There are reasons for secrets.

Everyone judges others.

Yes, the world of freedom from judgment regarding personal preferences would be nice. But it isn't our reality NOW.

In your own post you seem to be JUDGING people who don't want to reveal their personal preferences. and in the same post mention hypocrisy...
but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

It'll just keep happening slowly over the decades.
Acceptance of gynoid fantasies will be "debated" publicly when there are actually gynoids.. until then most people probably are still going along with the anti-Stepford feminist vibe. Unless you say you want an Austin Powers fembot, then you're probably almost mainstream.

Hmm, proclaiming love of Fembots in jest is mainstream, but being really serious about it would be weird... maybe because fembots AREN'T REAL.
Anyone proclaiming a preference for something that doesn't exist.. fembot, elf, ghost, vampire, Thetans, etc. will raise eyebrows.

Whoa, I rambled.

[darkbutflashy]

The poll misses an option as anybodys name could be picked up by anyone else on the internet -- there's no such thing as a "real life name" on the internet.

People often disregard this fact though it's very obvious. It's the same shit why internet friends should not meet in real life and why internet is not suitable for children, regardless how many filters you put on it.

Kind regards, keep it
darkbutflashy

[Mirage]

Well, I'll be honest, I guess finally the thruth comes out...


My real name is.....





George Bush jurnior...



hehehehe....



(hides behind fence)



hehehehe....

[xodar]

I use several different names, all in various places. In some I use my initials, in some names or words. Actually, I didn't find the choices quite right for me, I just picked the last because it's closest.

[tinyspider]

Uh... none of the above, I chose my screenname because it represents a small part of what I am (I like spiders)

[jolshefsky]

Uh.. I thought it was just common sense.
Don't use your real name on any bulletin board.
Mainly because you don't know what kind of psychos are out there;
or just how twisted acquaintances, friends, bosses, lovers,
and especially
ex-lovers or people with other grudges
can be.

I am who I am and what I am regardless of what they think or do. Maybe my attempts to be President of the United States will be suddenly much harder, but maybe someday this won't be an issue.

I've run a website and sometimes said things about people, yet I'm listed in the phone book and I have yet to have someone come to my house or even call me about anything. I used to be afraid that people would know who I am. Now I'm just sure to be confident in what I say so that I can defend disagreement.

So Mr "jolshefsky" if that is your real name, congratulations
on fighting your OWN personal demons and coming to terms with
YOUR issues in the way YOU see fit within YOUR life. That's great!

...

In your own post you seem to be JUDGING people who don't want to reveal their personal preferences. and in the same post mention hypocrisy...
but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. ;)

Yes, that's true. And yes, I am. I think that living in fear is worse than being harassed. However -- to be fair -- it is up to each individual to make that choice. To boil my logic to a simple point, each of us has two choices: live in fear of the power of others to reveal our quirks in a manner that makes us freaks, or (a) reveal our quirks publically and deal with being harassed so (b) in the future, the people doing the harassing won't have the power because individual quirks will be regarded as good rather than bad.

1. How often do you take a shit?

Lately twice a day.

2. Have you ever fantasized about a legally underage girl?

Yes. I believe my instincts are correct in that a female mature enough to carry offspring is sexually attractive. Sometimes that's 16 years old, and sometimes that's 25 years old. 18 is just a number.

3. Do you use/Have you ever used any illegal drugs?

Yes.

4. What's your salary?

I work on contract. Are you trying to determine if I am worth the effort of robbing me?

5. Have you ever read a racist joke and laughed?

Yes. Almost every time I laugh makes me feel ashamed. I need to understand that better. I laugh openly when I am certain all parties are in agreement about the humor, but I don't have a way to explain good taste versus bad.

6. Who did you vote for?

Vote for in what?

7. Do you have any other sexual kinks?

Hmm ... not really. I kind of dig girls whose hair is shaped like fire. That is, not colored brightly necessarily, but with waves and whorls. Lesbians, too, but that's just a curse.

8. How often do you.. ahem , take care of yourself?

You mean give myself a hug? Well, rarely. I'm 36 now and I tend to ejaculate once a day -- either through masturbation or intercourse.

9. Would you feel more comfortable if some people announced their fantasies of anally raping any of your younger siblings/cousins?

It's one thing to think it. It's another to say it. It's another to make detailed plans. It's another to do it. I'd keep an eye on someone who was making plans. I would be angry if they did it in a non-consentual manner. I'd be surprised if they could get consent.

10. Have you ever had even the slightest urge to hurt someone physically?

Oh heck yeah.

11. While making love to your girlfriend what fantasies have popped into your head? who was in those fantasies? and did you tell her?

Usually robot girl fantasies and usually they just involved her and I haven't told her yet. Hmm ... I wonder if she'll find this before I tell her.

There are reasons for secrets.

Your examples, while admirable attempts, really don't dig at the issue. Like, I think it would upset my Mom to know how often I masturbate -- heck, even saying the word would probably upset her.

See, secrets let us speak of an ideal and act in a different way. But what for? I'd rather say who I am than to try and live up to who I say I am. You know what I mean?

Yes, the world of freedom from judgment regarding personal preferences would be nice. But it isn't our reality NOW.

It'll just keep happening slowly over the decades.
Acceptance of gynoid fantasies will be "debated" publicly when there are actually gynoids.. until then most people probably are still going along with the anti-Stepford feminist vibe. Unless you say you want an Austin Powers fembot, then you're probably almost mainstream.

Hmm, proclaiming love of Fembots in jest is mainstream, but being really serious about it would be weird... maybe because fembots AREN'T REAL.
Anyone proclaiming a preference for something that doesn't exist.. fembot, elf, ghost, vampire, Thetans, etc. will raise eyebrows.

Fuck "slowly." And by that, I mean I don't like for things to change slowly, not as an imperative for you to decrease the speed at which you have intercourse. Speaking both philosophically and of verb tenses, there is only now. Someday is tomorrow, and someday the day we call "tomorrow" will be "today." Get it? Be the world you want to live in. I am taking this step specifically because I want to live in a world where I can put in a personal ad, "I am aroused by the fantasy of a woman who is actually a robot" and not be considered a freak. On the one hand, I like that it makes me different, and I'd like to keep being unique -- but along with any other fantasy, I'd like for a statement like that to be fully understood.

In the end, all fantasy is only tangentially related to sex anyway. I mean, whether it's the idealized female body in sexual prime stuck in perfection because it's artifical or it's the 2002 body of Beyonce, it's really the same thing in a way: the mental construct of an unrealistic and impossible set of parameters that define the sexually perfect ideal. Even in typical male heterosexual fantasy: that airbrushed photograph of the hottest supermodel is just a model of perfection -- the woman herself quits the profession someday, eats Ben and Jerry's for a month, and -- rather than fucking you -- would really rather just hang out at home and watch every Pauly Shore movie.

[andoroido]

Heh heh, you had me going right along with your ideas until you mentioned Pauly Shore... why would ANYONE watch a Pauly Shore movie of their own free will?

Anyway, I threw out the challenge and you answered it. That's pretty damn cool, but still, you aren't gonna go stand on a sopabox and announce those Q&A to everyone, are you?

I think it's a big difference between sharing personal secrets with a loving partner, and "sharing"/announcing your secrets to the world.

Still, you are on a track that we should all be thinking about. Eventually, everyone will be Google-able,　and Internet habits tracable to anyone who has an interest and some time, or at the very least, some kind of private detective, and definitely the government.

Society is going to have to adjust its thinking.
When everyone can learn anything about anyone, will we silently agree that everyone has their own kinks, and as long as nobody gets hurt, it should be nobody's business, and have no effect on the real world?

Just think of the lawyers having fun with it. "quirk discrimination"?
Imagine not getting hired at a bank because you enjoy reading blogs written by criminals who teach how to embezzle. Or not getting hired at a fudge factory because you like German scheitza (?) videos. Or whatever. It'll happen, and the case might go to the Supreme Court.

We can't control our dreams, so society rarely condemns wacky dreams.
We can control our beliefs, so society will condemn wacky beliefs.
We can control our actions, so society and govt will hold us accountable.

Personal quirks are a grey area. We can't really control them, so can we be criticized for them? Unfortunately, yes. But we hope that will change.

Unless we get conquerred by the Muslims, then we're totally fucked. Under Islam, having a thing for naked ladies is pretty much a sin to be punished by torture or death under sharia law, which always seems to end up being policed by the extremists with the guns and knives.
But some people don't seem to mind that creeping tide.

[visceralpsyche]

Wow, this has turned into quite the philosophical debate over our online personas!

Speaking only for myself of course, my view with the online world is that BECAUSE of the ability to be whoever you want, it is a sign of trust when people are willing to use their real names etc.

Trust, online, is really the only commodity worth having, because everything else can be made up.

I use my real name for several reasons:

1. People are more likely to trust me if I am not hiding behind a pseudonym that no one can find any info on. Using my real name means that I have something tangible to lose if I show that I cannot be trusted. Because I consider trust to be the highest commodity someone has to offer to others, I do not fear this outcome.

2. My name may one day be a household name in the way that Stephen Spielberg is a household name (ok, so I hope this will be the case, anyway!! ). The publicity machine being what it is, if no one knows who you are, then how will I ever achieve this?

3. My name is what may put bums on seats one day. I will win or lose by my name - if I make crap movies, then I deserve to have my name shot down along with them. If I make hits though, then it is my name under the Director credit that acknowledges that the film is my own creation. Either way, my name is in a small way, a commodity to use for me. See point 2.

4. I am not afraid of what people think of my likes and dislikes. I consider that an enlightened position even if the majority of the public are not as progressive in their thinking. NO ONE is normal in the way society says is normal. Everyone has sexual fantasies and nearly all of them are unique. It is only the stupid people, acquiescing to society's "official" interpretation of what "normal" sexual fantasies are, who end up repressing their natural urges and making life difficult for the rest of us.

5. If I post with my real name, then when people try to argue with me or put words in my mouth that I didn't say, I can give a rebuttal that people know really is from me. If necessary I can further solidify that it really did come from me by cryptographically signing my statements. In short, it goes back to my first point about trust.

6. I'm not afraid of criticism. In fact, I welcome it. Critics aren't dangerous - they strengthen us and allow us to continually reassess our position for flaws, incorporating new information when it is beneficial and enlightening others when it is their arguments which are inadequate. What IS dangerous is the "yes man", for they will merrily follow you into hell and never point out that "it's getting uncomfortably hot in here...."

All that said, I do defend everyone's right to privacy. I also think that if someone intends to invade your right to privacy, that they themselves should be willing to give up an equal amount of privacy. See government secrecy for why this is necessary and urgent in today's society. An open society has nothing to fear except fear itself.

[fection]

A well-worded discussion.
I have to admit to being afraid of what the people that KNOW me would think. I think ASPECTS of what I fantasize about are actually sexist (I'm not saying that about anyone else - just my particular 'taste'). But the appeal is very VERY strong, so I choose to live a double life (if that's not too dramatic a phrase).
I have told my girlfriend about 'my thing', but not everything - not even that I have an on-line psuedonym. Sure it's not ideal, but I don't see how I can reconcile the two. Probably a bit sad, but hey.
Anyway. Better go...

[ministrations]

I'll admit that I chose an alias more because I was afraid of what would happen than I am now. I was very young when I started lurking, definitely underage, and I didn't want to be caught. (I'm not underage anymore, btw.)

Also, I might be in the extreme minority here, but my fantasy doesn't easily translate to the real world. My wife, and before that a few girlfriends, knew about this, and it's been a recurring issue of: Thanks, but I don't need anyone to try acting out this fantasy.

(I've explained it by saying that human women turn me on fine, and so do fembots, but they work for different reasons, and one acting like the other doesn't really do it for me.)

Also, BTW, if we all used our real names all the time there would be a lot of Mikes, Robs, Janes, etc.

Sincerely,
Mike

[ehy]

For me it's some of all of the above.

I've grappled with the question of my "secret identity" from both directions - how much to tell my real friends and family about the ASFR side of my personality, and how much to tell you about the rest of me. And more than once, it's come down to this:

Sharing information is irrevocable.

Maybe I could safely share... but maybe not. Once I do it, it's done, and there's no taking it back, EVER.

Why not share? Because many people would get the wrong idea. I'm a decent, normal person, but some of my fantasies suggest very much otherwise. And due to the way fantasies and sex are viewed in this society, anyone who doesn't know and trust me VERY well is likely to believe the worst if sex is involved. (Where I live, I believe I can look on a website to find out whether a person convicted of rape 20 years ago and out of jail for 15 lives near me, but not whether a serial killer out on parole does. Go figure.)

If you're comfortable sharing that openly, I applaud you for that. I respect you for it. But I choose a safer path.

[Ciepher]

I am Ciepher all over the internet, and I'm happy to use it anywhere that I don't feel ashamed of being found. Generally, I avoid things that I'd be ashamed to be associated with, since if I know that if something makes me feel icky, it probably isn't worth wasting time with.

Of course I wouldn't want my mum or my boss to know that I like the thought of being a robot, but I don't think I'll ever give them any reason for them to try and find out that I do.

I'm not brazen though, and I do not put my full name or address on public websites. I do not advertise my more unusual interests in gory detail on my journal and website.

Over all, I don't care if people know that I'm a bit kinky - I'm not doing anything illegal. In this day and age, I don't think it will stop me from getting a good job or selling my art.. after all, they didn't sack the policeman who won Mr Gay UK.

[Mirage]

This actually reminded me of a true story that happen to me and my wife (fiance at the time).

A long time ago, on another ASFR (sadly dead) site that we miss, did have my first stories I wrote for this sommunity posted on the site.

On the site, it was listed "stories written by (my real name) and one of my stories was "the nurse". (I think you can find it here in the archives.).

Anyway, my fiance (my wife now) was looking with the word "nurse" in her search on google because well, she is a nurse and was trying to find info about her nursing licence something.

Anyway, her first hit was, yes, my story on the ASFR, with my name written in bold. To my luck, she knew about my little secret life because I told her after we decided to be fiance to each other...

So, of course, I was embarresed a bit and she made fun of me for a while. Thank God that story was one of my nice stories... (L)

So... the moral is... er... it's up to you if you are hiding secret or not from your partner... you might get your fingers caught in the mouse trap sometimes...

Mirage

[Doctor Robo]

My screen name is the result of feeling the need for a pseudonym when I started writing stories for the old ASFR.com site almost ten years ago. When I signed up for messageboards and the like I kept it to retain some sort of connection between my writing and my discussions. The name is intended as an homage to some of the great fictional mad scientists in history, such as Dr. Goldfoot, Dr. No, Dr. Evil, Dr. Frankenstein, Dr. Strangelove, Dr. Mindbender, Dr. Doom, Dr. Feelgood... ok, maybe not that last one. Shall I go on?

[confusitron!]

My screen name is the result of feeling the need for a pseudonym when I started writing stories for the old ASFR.com site almost ten years ago. When I signed up for messageboards and the like I kept it to retain some sort of connection between my writing and my discussions. The name is intended as an homage to some of the great fictional mad scientists in history, such as Dr. Goldfoot, Dr. No, Dr. Evil, Dr. Frankenstein, Dr. Strangelove, Dr. Mindbender, Dr. Doom, Dr. Feelgood... ok, maybe not that last one. Shall I go on?

Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show?

I just changed my name, incidentally. 'Cause this one's better.

[DollSpace]

I kept changing my online name cos I was being stalked on this board, but since that person is gone, I use my unit designation, MLE2024a, but most people just call me Emily. As far as posting my stories in a single area, I'd tend to use a pseudonym just to prevent them all from being found by the one or two lunatics I've run into, both on this board and in other places. DollSpace was a random name, as were the ones before it, but now it won't let me chance it, so DollSpace I am. And for those who don't know or can't tell, yes I am a girl, albeit a robot (believe it if you want; it's your choice), and have a lot of internal (and a few external) demons to work through. And I'm wondering why I'm replying to a post from 2006....