A Yet-Untitled Story.

[Hola_guy]

(I've been working on this for some time now, and I believe I've reached a point where I would much appreciate feedback.)

Configuration: Booting......start-up
Unit: D-000
Designation: Danica Wilson
Current time: 7:30 AM, March 6, XXXX
System Diagnostics: Start-up
System Update Information: v1.0.10 is up to date.
Battery Status: Fully Charged
…
…
..
System Diagnostics: Green
Configuration: Booting……Complete


Had I been looking in a mirror when I opened my eyes, I would have seen a florescent blue ring around the green irises of my eyes that signified the boot-up sequence I was programmed with to start my day. Then, the auto-programmed first words out of my mouth. “All systems online,” I heard my metallic voice say. I was utterly disgusted at the fact that I was forced to say something like that. If something was wrong, my diagnostics check would catch it.
I reached up and pushed a strand of my mid-butt length golden blonde hair out of my face, and sat up. I felt my feet hit the floor, and pushed my six foot tall frame off of my bed. I crossed the room to my closet, and slid the door open, my green eyes scanning for something suitable for the day.
I finally settled for a white sundress I had hanging toward the front of the closet. I pulled it out, and slipped it off the hanger, which I replaced in my closet. Then, I crossed back to my bed, where I sat down, placing the dress next to me. Slowly, I slipped of the silk robe I had slept in, revealing my red lace undergarments, which covered the extremities of my peach-skinned body. I stood up again, my breasts bouncing lightly slightly as I did. I pulled the sundress over my head, standing again and letting the dress ripple down my form. I cinched the leather belt around the dress just under my breasts.
I stepped to the vanity that stood across from my bed in the dull room and quickly brushed my hair. After several run-throughs with my brush, I grabbed my purse and back-pack and headed toward the door, pulling it shut behind me. “You’re awake!!” the squeak came before I found myself wrapped in a rather big, over-enthusiastic embrace. But then again, that was Ashley.
Ashley Jacobs was my next door neighbor in the residence hall, and also one of my closest friends. She could be a spaz at times, but she was the excitement to my groundedness. “Of course. How could I not be with all of your noise?” I smiled. My sense of humor elicited a chuckle from here. “Still punctual as ever, I see.” She remarked. She never bothered to let her system wake her up. She was normally awake before I was, and had made it her mission in life to make me the same morning person she was.
“Did you finish that work from yesterday?” She asked, now turning to meet my eyes. I only paid her a glance as we moved down a crowded hallway. “Of course. Don’t tell me you didn’t…” Her expression gave her away as she rubbed the back of her neck. “Ash…you know you’ve got to pass these class-“
“But why? What’s the point?”
“Because you need to–“
“For what? You know we don’t age. Wherever we go, we’ll always be 21.”
I shook my head. It was hopeless to argue with Ashley when she was like this. She would just ignore what she didn’t want to hear. It was simply best to change the subject. “So, what were you doing last night?” She smiled, but remained silent. “Oh my god. You had a hot date??” “No no no...not exactly…” She hung her head as we rounded a corner, the heels of my leather boots clicking on the tile, her sneakers squeaking lightly as we walked. “I want to hear about it later.” I said.
As she was still not paying attention, I took her arm and pulled her sideways into a room that was lined with desks in rows that faced a whiteboard. The room was clearly to be used as a classroom, and thus the reason Ashley and I were here, if just a few minutes early.
We made our way to our seats, and I knew what followed. We always arrived early in order to compare answers from the previous day’s work. Or, in cases such as today (Ashley was horrible at actually finishing the work), to copy one another’s work. Normally, this would annoy most people–as it well should — but since Ash actually put in the effort to work on the assignments, I had no objections to helping her finish. So, as I carefully set my purse and bag under my desk, I slid the homework out and laid it on top of my desk. In a mere moment, it was gone.
Silently, I pulled a spiral notebook out of my bag, and opened it to the next empty page, ready for the day’s notes. When my work slid back on top of my desk, I looked over at my companion. I opened my mouth to speak with her again, but closed it when the room began to steadily fill.




The professor had droned on and on, making it hard for me to pay attention but in short intervals. So it was no surprise to me when class seemed to end so quickly. I closed my notebook, and shoved it back in my bag before closing it up, and standing. Ashley and I crossed to the door together, where my phone began to vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket, and checked the new text message I had received.
Unknown Number:
D-000, come to the lab.
I closed the phone, and dropped it back in my pocket with a small sigh. “Go on without me. I’ll try to catch up.” I told Ashley. The two of us usually made lunch plans after our class, and it looked like I might just have to take a rain check on it today.
---------------------------------------
“Ah. Number zero, thank you for coming in.” A deep voice sounded over the intercom. “Please sit on the table.” I did as I was asked, and hopped up onto the table. Suddenly, I was pushed over onto my back by a robotic arm. “Please lie still.” The voice called, now fainter behind the sound of the moving of the robotic arm. Slowly, my dress was pulled over my head, but not completely off. The panel on my chest opened up, and I went blank.
--------------------------------------------
……Recovery in progress….
Unit: D-000
Designation: Danica Wilson
Current time: 3 PM, March 6, XXXX
System Diagnostics: Start-up
System Update Information: v2.0.0 is up to date.
Battery Status: Fully Charged
System Diagnostics: Green
Configuration: Booting……Complete
Recovery Complete
I opened my eyes, and sat up. I was in a blank room with just a vague recollection of what had happened. I heard that voice again. “System ID?”
“God, come on, Frank. You just updated my sys-“
“Provide your system ID.”
I sighed, before reciting my system ID and operating information for the voice, I now recognize as my handler, Frank. Handlers are the humans appointed to oversee the agents in the Atlas project. They handled the paperwork, while we got our hands dirty. For the most part, it was small, organized crime the local cops wouldn’t touch. But we had our fair share of others.
“I figured this would as good a time as any to get the update out of the way. We just received word of a murder off campus.”
“Shouldn’t the cops handle this one, Frank? It’s not really the type of thing we handle…” I looked toward the two-way mirror behind which Frank stood. “Yes, normally it would. But there seems to be a connection between this one and a couple of murders that happened earlier this year.”

[NukuNookee]

Interesting start to a story, love the first artificial person point of view....

[Hola_guy]

Thanks.

[Robjoe]

I absolutely adore stories from the perspective of a robot, especially when they're written in first-person, but they sadly don't show up as often as other kinds. Getting inside the heads of artificial characters is one of my favorite things to do in stories, so you can imagine my enthusiasm when I discover something like what you've written here.

As for the story itself, I'd say it's off to an intriguing start. The writing is a bit dry, but I think that works here with Danica's personality being rather "grounded" by her own admission. I can't wait to learn more about Danica and the world around her!

[Hola_guy]

Thanks so much. I'm happy to see that the feedback so far has be positive for the most part. As for the writing, Robjoe, I myself feel that same way, and I believe that introductions to most stories are. But I don't intend to keep it that way *Hint hint*

[Hola_guy]

For those curious, the full product of this first part to my story has been posted as "Loveless, Act I" in the story board. I'd love your feedback.