Sorry for the very late reply, I had some problems with my internet today.
I really liked your edit. I loved how you changed the eyes compared to the original artwork. It gives a more "evil robot clone" kinda vibe to me. Also, I really dig the panel too.
I just want to make some nitpicks (although, I think these are more of a personal preference than anything).
Note: My english is not that good, so my wording might be confusing.

I suggest trying to make the color of the lines match the outlines that it's connected to to make the seamlines look fitting. Having unmatching colors make the lines stand out a bit and make the edit obvious. Also, probably make the lines thinner to match it with the outline of the image, unless it's a design choice. Another suggestion is that adding/drawing some shadows under the lines to make it seem like those are really segmented parts that are either above or below other segments.
These are just my suggestions/nitpicks/personal preferences though, especially if you have your own style that you like. Hope my input helps. It looks so good anyways.
My slight alteration of your edit. I added some shine to the exhaust(?) (I don't actually know what it's called) and some glow on the eyes. I look forward to your future edits.
