"The Offer, Part 3" now online!

robolvr · Post by **robolvr** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 8:01 pm

Friends and neighbors, it is with great pride that I announce "The Offer, Part 3" is officially on my web site. The first three FULL chapters are up and waiting on you! Check them out at:

http://members.aol.com/robolvr

So...go read it aready! And enjoy!

RL

robolvr · Post by **robolvr** » Sat Jul 12, 2003 10:37 am

Chapters 4 & 5 are now up! Enjoy!

RL

robolvr · Post by **robolvr** » Thu Jul 17, 2003 10:13 pm

Two new chapters of "TOP3" are now on the web site...enjoy!

RL

tinyspider · Post by **tinyspider** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 8:55 am

Cool writings!
Is there a possibility of getting ALL the parts in one document?

robolvr · Post by **robolvr** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 10:54 am

Well, after the installments finally come out, we'll probably look into consolidation.

And what about the rest of you? Is anybody else enjoying TOP3?

petey · Post by **petey** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 9:44 pm

I'm enjoying this latest installment very much. I guess I'll be looking for silver jogging suits again

robolvr · Post by **robolvr** » Wed Jul 23, 2003 8:35 pm

Two new chapters are up from "The Offer, Part 3." Happy reading....

RL

UserJesse · Post by **UserJesse** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 1:45 pm

Yes! very loving the stories...I'd read the first offer and a couple of the later chapters some few months ago and never got around to seeing the updates. Hopped on last night and finally read the rest

Very cool story, I always picture Sorayama android girls in my mind while reading...lets get sci-fi to produce a few films!! (I wish!) hehe..anyway..great job!

robolvr · Post by **robolvr** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 10:19 pm

This is it! The final chapters of "The Offer, Part 3" are now online! Enjoy!

RL

Sega-boy · Post by **Sega-boy** » Fri Aug 08, 2003 8:30 am

First, I would like to say that I appreciate all of the hard work that Keraptis has done. If his interest in finishing the Offer part 3 hadn't returned to him, the rest of us would have never gotten the chance to read it at all and I for one think that it was worth the wait.

I thought that the story coming from Wendy's point of view was a solid move. Although, I was awfully glad to see Kim and Sam included once more.

Thanks to the film, Upgrade, I had a new perspective of the characters and their dialog. For instance, now I can actually picture the androids as they cock their heads before they activate their vocals and I have recall to what it sounds like to hear them utter phrases like "Affirmative" and "Shutting down".

When the first two chapters showed up at ASFR fiction I couldn't believe my eyes. Chapter One was a great start. If only it hadn't been a dream. Of course, no one thought so more than Wendy herself.

In chapter 2, Wendy wants to discuss her dream with the other androids and I could tell things were going to get a little messy as well as intriguing from that point on.

The events at the android society kind of dragged a little. I commend the rich detail involved, especially during the transforming/upgrading processes, but of course, my key interest is more towards the sexual aspects of these stories and I didn't get really excited again until chapter 10 when Amy and Erica get their "Halloween costumes".

As far as the plot goes, Wendy succeeds in becoming a special breed of android and finds her dream companion; her "Rick". A nice happy ending.

There was an instance somewhere in the middle of the story where I thought Kim was having technical problems and something serious was going to happen with her, but it was a false alarm.

I guess that I was hoping to see some conflict between the androids that might disrupt their utopian society, if ever so brief. Perhaps an idea for part 4.

There is still a lot here and I dare not try and tackle it all at once.

-What did everyone else think overall?
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keraptis · Post by **keraptis** » Fri Aug 08, 2003 2:09 pm

Sega-boy wrote:First, I would like to say that I appreciate all of the hard work that Keraptis has done. If his interest in finishing the Offer part 3 hadn't returned to him, the rest of us would have never gotten the chance to read it at all and I for one think that it was worth the wait.

Thanks!

Sega-boy wrote:I thought that the story coming from Wendy's point of view was a solid move. Although, I was awfully glad to see Kim and Sam included once more.

Well, what little feedback I got on TOP2 told me that Wendy was the favorite character among the readers (perhaps because she's the most overtly sexual of them all). Certainly Robolvr -- the guy who gave me the most feedback and encouragement along the way, including helping me get motivated to finish after a long pause -- was a big influence on centering the story around her. Obviously, she was the big loose end in TOP2, so it was easy to focus on her and expand from there.

Sega-boy wrote:Thanks to the film, Upgrade, I had a new perspective of the characters and their dialog. For instance, now I can actually picture the androids as they cock their heads before they activate their vocals and I have recall to what it sounds like to hear them utter phrases like "Affirmative" and "Shutting down".

That's interesting ... though I think the actresses in Upgrade did a great job, our one problem was they didn't *quite* have the physical moves down. Especially the head-cocks ... instead of tilting and freezing (think Commander Data), they both seemed to tilt and tilt right back, which didn't work as well. To me the actress who plays Sam in Upgrade isn't quite the same type as what I imagined for TOP2 ... but I got to like her so much that in the end I think she's even better. That actress was very "real" and gave the character lots of vulnerability and appeal.

Sega-boy wrote:When the first two chapters showed up at ASFR fiction I couldn't believe my eyes. Chapter One was a great start. If only it hadn't been a dream. Of course, no one thought so more than Wendy herself.

In chapter 2, Wendy wants to discuss her dream with the other androids and I could tell things were going to get a little messy as well as intriguing from that point on.

A ha! Yeah, Chapter 1 is a dream for a very specific reason. See below regarding the Utopic nature of the stories ...

Sega-boy wrote:The events at the android society kind of dragged a little. I commend the rich detail involved, especially during the transforming/upgrading processes, but of course, my key interest is more towards the sexual aspects of these stories and I didn't get really excited again until chapter 10 when Amy and Erica get their "Halloween costumes".

I thought the middle was slow too, even as I wrote it. What I realized about half-way in was that TOP3 had quickly turned into a quest to take every loose end, plot hole, and unanswered question from the first two stories and address them one by one. All the exposition got to be too much. Once it was written, I didn't go back and edit for length -- but if this was more than Internet fiction, a serious edit would be in order.

Sega-boy wrote:As far as the plot goes, Wendy succeeds in becoming a special breed of android and finds her dream companion; her "Rick". A nice happy ending.

There was an instance somewhere in the middle of the story where I thought Kim was having technical problems and something serious was going to happen with her, but it was a false alarm.

I guess that I was hoping to see some conflict between the androids that might disrupt their utopian society, if ever so brief. Perhaps an idea for part 4.

OK, about the tone of the story: From the beginning, when I started TOP2, it was a cardinal rule to preserve the tone of the original "The Offer," which is about as happy a robot transformation story as there is. When I discovered ASFR online in 1997 or so, and I was having the classic "Oh my God there are other people who like this stuff too?!?!" epiphany, "The Offer" was THE story that most resonated with my view of ASFR. Android675 was instrumental in encouraging me to write a sequel, and I always wanted to respect the fact that this was his "universe" I was playing in and expanding.

So, "The Offer" is about Utopia, plain and simple.

In TOP2 I faithfully kept the tone in line with the original, but when sitting down to write TOP3 I realized that if I didn't come up with different angles on everything, I would be rewriting the same scenes I'd already done. I also had a desire to play a bit more with (mildly) non-consentual themes. Obviously that didn't fit into the philosophy of "The Offer" ... so the solution was the dream sequence of Chapter 1.

Believe me, when TOP3 was just a set of plot/story ideas, I thought a lot about introducing conflict -- things like introducing other factions of androids opposed to our "good guy" ones, or having the androids resist Wendy's special nature, so that we could see her prove herself by systematically reprogramming them against their will, etc. But these things really don't fit into this universe, and looking back I'm glad I steered clear. Conflict is what drives any story ... in TOP3 I focused on the conflict and uncertainty within Wendy. Certainly the androids themselves don't face much in the way of obstacles, other than the limited supply of I units.

If I ever sit down to write another story, it will almost certainly NOT be "The Offer Part 4" ... it will probably be a much shorter story in which I can explore other sides to ASFR that would never work in the Offer universe.

Sega-boy wrote:There is still a lot here and I dare not try and tackle it all at once.

You've already set the record for TOP3 feedback (other than what I got from Android675 and Robolvr) ... thanks again!!!

Sega-boy wrote:-What did everyone else think overall?

Yeah! I'm waiting here!