I'm Just A Luxury Appliance Fox But The Locals Think I'm A Legendary Support Class: EP 01

[RoxxyRobofox]

Content warning: mild violence, a spider, some mild sauciness. Sorry my prose is kinda dry ahaha

...

Executive Grux loomed over Tibby and grit his shark-like teeth as he narrowed his beady black eyes. “You’re taking my robot?”

Tibby nodded and adjusted her glasses. “I’m using the asset you purchased with our budget money to do things outlined within the budget’s goals.” She smiled politely, matching Grux’s gloomy expression with disarming charm.

“Okay but you ARE aware that it is a secretary, right? Makes coffee? Looks pretty? Basic?”

“The SplendorTech Luxury Appliance Fox is designed for a variety of social interactions and for basic self-sufficiency. Also she looks like a local. ALSO we’d use a more appropriate robot if you didn’t blow the budget on your office floozy-tron.”

Lexa’s brown fox ears perked up in the other room. People were talking about her! She continued to wipe down the board meeting table but devoted more resources to listening in on the conversation.

“It’s MY robot.” Grux groused angrily, slumping back into his chair.

Tibby canted her wiry hips and tilted her head up. “Well what are you gonna do about it? Fire me? You ordered the mission.”

“I’m gonna imagine firing you.” Grux closed his eyes and his dour demeanor melted into a satisfied smile. “Oh yeah. That’s the stuff.”

Tibby cackled. “Is it? Am I crying? Beggin’ for mercy?”

“Big, fat ugly tears. Lotsa snot coming out of that human nose, too. It’s a dishonorable scene.”

Tibby rolled her brown eyes, unable to suppress her smirk.”Well, I’m taking your robot. Enjoy tormenting Fantasy Unemployed Tibby.” She lifted her fingers to her lips and whistled hard, making Grux startle. “Lexa! Follow me. You’re being reassigned.”

“Yes miss.” Lexa said, striding out of the meeting room.

…

Lexa stood for inspection. She was in a lab of some kind, and several humanoids in white coats were looking her over, comparing notes, and murmuring.

“Six foot tall humanoid. Anthropomorphic fox. Brown base for fur. White fur on belly and chest. Curvaceous build, long legs. Royal blue hair. Blue eyes.” One of the scientists concludes.

“But will it fit into their society?” Tibby asked, raising an eyebrow.

One of the scientists threw a brown cloak over her and spread his hands. “Ta daaa!”

Tibby pinched the bridge of her nose as Lexa adjusted the cloak. “We’re screwed.”

…

Lexa stood in the small briefing room with a massive spider covered in rough, curling hairs. It was as large as her body.

Worse, it was giving a long, boring presentation.

Thankfully, Lexa’s ‘smile and nod’ protocols were perfect for such a thing: she looked attentive, she smiled, her tail swayed steadily as she looked on.

So while Dr. Arachnoboss was yammering on about ‘unknown planet’ ‘indeterminate civilization’ and ‘unusual energy readings’ she was picking up the fine points of the otherwise uninspiring preparation.

She was going undercover in an underdeveloped world.

There were strange energy readings.

Her first week would consist of social integration and recording interesting anomalies to report.

Great! That sounds easy. …

She blinked once. Activating dormant processing unit.

DOES it sound easy?

Calculating.
Calculating.
Determining mission length.
Determining complexity.
Calculating preparation levels.

“One moment, sir. I’m going to a medieval planet to spy on aliens?”

“Indefinitely!” Dr. Arachnoboss said with a wiggle of his meaty pedipalps.

Lexa’s smile and nod protocols served her admirably as she screamed internally.

…

The stealth capsule was cramped. This didn’t bother Lexa very much.

What concerned her more was that the capsule was screaming through the atmosphere at re-entry speed, streaking like a shooting star across the sky. It raised questions about the capsule’s stealth capabilities.

What concerned her MOST was that the capsule was delivering her to a mysterious world filled with mysterious people doing mysterious things, and she’d be here for a mysterious amount of time, and it was mysterious that anyone thought she was qualified for this.

She began to file a formal complaint via remote communication protocol. After all, she wouldn’t get the chance to if the capsule landed and exploded.

Luckily, the capsule was designed to slow descent, and retro-thrusters blazed to life, rapidly slowing and aligning the small craft until it touched down. A cute musical jingle played and the lid POPPED open, allowing Lexa to climb out into the cold, breezy air of the midnight-drowned forest.

“Please step away from Stealth Capsule! Stealth Capsule is initiating self-termination!~” A cheerful voice announced.

Lexa wasn’t one to ask questions, so she backed away, a hand holding her black cloak closed.

Suddenly, a silver substance poured out of the capsule, drowning it in shining liquid. The material of the capsule dissolved rapidly, broken down into a fine mist. When the silver blob had completed its mission, it turned on itself, shrinking down until it was nothingness.

Ah. That answers the ‘stealth’ question.

…

It had been precisely 54 minutes since Lexa began wandering through the chill woods. Her black cloak billowed in the wind, sometimes offering glimpses of the blue lingerie hugging her curves underneath. The trees swayed in the breeze, and there was precious little light save for Lexa’s softly glowing optics.

At first she assumed her pathfinding protocols had a good reason for leading her along this trail. But after half an hour of nothing, she queried the program and got the digital equivalent of a shrug. So the dotted line imposed in her HUD was basically meaningless. Suboptimal.

Sixty-one minutes into her wandering she heard a shriek. Her ears instantly swiveled towards the sound. She heard… shuffling. Adult voices muffled by wind and echoes. She started rushing towards the sound. At the very least, she could ask to be directed towards a civilization and begin integration.

…

Sage scrambled as quickly as her elven legs could carry her. Her lantern was held out in front of her as the bitter, dark forest worked like a dangerous maze against her, forcing her to veer and skid to avoid sudden trees and brambles. Behind her, three figures shouted angrily as they quickly gained ground against her. It would not be long before the mysterious assailants were upon her.

Just when all hope was lost, a black-cloaked figure with glowing blue eyes exploded from the darkness and tackled one of the attackers. His rough, strong body crumpled from the blow and was blown back like he’d been hit by a dragon’s tail and not a mysteriously lithe figure.

The other assailants paused briefly to size up their new target. Eventually, they decided getting to Sage was important enough to risk attacking the black cloaked mystery. The first rushed forward, sword raised and glinting in the lantern light. The blue eyed figure raised her hand, caught his wrist effortlessly, and squeezed. He howled in pain and his hand snapped open, releasing the sword.

The other attacker reached for a bladed disk at her side and let it fly at the black-cloak. The blue-eyed warrior lifted her hand and used the back of it to gently nudge the projectile away from her, allowing it to continue flying through the woods. At that point, she released the wrist she was holding and the man fell to his knees, rubbing his tender limb.

That was enough to convince the assailants to make a break for it. The female attacker scooped up her crumpled ally and fled as the man raised to his knees, muttered something vulgar and turned to make good his escape.

As the black cloak turned to look at Sage with those glowing blue eyes, all she could do was stare in awe as exhaustion caught up to her. She passed out, and the last thing she saw was the black cloaked woman standing over her.

…

Lexa understood that it was a minor social faux pas to rifle through the belongings of an unconscious person, but she assured her ethical protocol that she wasn’t actually stealing anything.

She just needed a little context. And maybe to learn the local language.

Fortunately this individual seemed to be bookish, and had several slightly-worn leather bound books to peruse. It was nothing to simply press her thumb against the pages and rifle them while scanning the insides. The dark and the wind were no obstacle. Her opticals flickered as she scanned the writing from top to bottom and let her high-powered communications systems make sense of the language.

From what she gathered, this young woman described herself as an elf.

Elf: generally considered a term for a mystical entity tied to forests and nature.

Well. She’s not here to argue the validity of claims, just to record them. Besides, Sage DID have long, pointy ears.

The books had further details. The freckled blonde elf went by “Sage” and was apprenticed to what the book described as a powerful clairvoyant. Her systems made another note: superstitious culture. Possibly a mageocracy. Sage is a potentially important political figure in the region. As Lexa calmly categorized the data from the book, she heard the woman begin to stir and slipped the diary back into its pack.

Sage slowly opened her green eyes and looked up. Lexa was still in the shadows, wearing a black cloak and her bright blue eyes glowing in the dark. She stifled a shriek and kicked her feet until she’d pushed her back against a tree.

“Please calm yourself. I mean you no harm.”

“W-who are you? WHAT are you? Some kind of assassin?”

“Negative. I am a concierge.”

Sage swallowed hard. She slowly stood to her feet, brows furrowed and glaring daggers.

“Those guys that were chasing me-”

“Two biological males. One biological female. They have retreated.”

“You saved me? Why?”

“My imperative is to ensure the comfort and safety of the clientele.”

She paused for a moment.

“Also I am lost in the woods. May I request your assistance in locating the nearest population center?”

Sage continued to stare for a long moment. Part of her didn’t trust the mysterious stranger. Something was off about them that she couldn’t quite place. But… the mystery woman had saved her. She had the perfect chance to kidnap her or kill her. She forced herself to lighten up, just a little.

“We have a guest room back home. If you’re new to the area, the least I can do is host you for the night.”

“Your hospitality is acknowledged. Thank you for your assistance.”

…

“So…. welcome to Winterbreak! I think this place is pretty nice.”

Sage and Lexa walked through dark stone streets that are flanked by grey cottages until they reach a large, multi-story building overgrown by lush vines. They passed a stone fence and headed through thick wooden doors. Lexa slowly turned her head from side to side. Noted amenities: a living area with fur-draped couches and a shelf of literature. A walk-in kitchen with primitive cooking tools. Warm lighting provided by candles.

Sage got a good look at Lexa now that they were in the light. Taller than her by a head, fox tail, furred body. Cascading blue hair. And her eyes didn’t seem to glow as intensely in the light. Beastwoman. A very strange one.

“I can take your cloak if you like-”

“I would not impose on my gracious host.”

A single shrug of her shoulders and an undone clasp and her cloak fell into her hands, revealing her shiny blue lingerie. Sage stared for a moment, panicked, and turned around.

“W-what the hell? Where’s your clothes?”


“The cloak was all I was provided.”

“Okay! Well! Maybe beastkin are okay with going around like that but in human societies you gotta dress properly! I’ll… I’ll get you something to wear tomorrow, okay?”

“Understood.”

Lexa sauntered behind Sage. Her hips moved slowly and her buxom chest swayed. Her cold eyes continued to stare, unblinking. Sage couldn’t help but compare her to how a noblewoman might walk.

After Lexa had been shown the simple guest room, Sage went to her own room. Quickly dressing into her sleepwear, she allowed the adrenaline to leave her body and collapsed against the mattress. Her thoughts swirled together.

The failed forest communion.

Those thugs chasing her through the woods.

The mysterious beastwoman. Skilled. Cold. Glowing eyes. Strange undergarments.

If she weren’t so exhausted, she would have never passed out.

…

Lexa’s point of view flickered on. She’d come out of standby mode, and a long list of all her protocols and hardware that had fallen asleep was scrolling up her HUD to report for duty, one by one. She slid one long leg out of bed, then the other, to see a neatly arranged set of clothes on the stand by her bed.

Tunic. Belt. Gloves. Pants. Boots. All of it fit well against her body. Curious how Sage had known her measurements so accurately. She put the black cloak on over all of it and headed out the door.

The sound of sizzling and the smell of food altered Lexa to activity, and so she headed to where she remembered the kitchen was. Her pathfinding protocol was eager for a win after last night’s floundering and so the dotted line guiding her all of ten feet to her destination pulsed with increased fervor.

The window above the cast iron stove was wide open and sunlight was flooding in as Sage fried eggs and sausage. She turned to look at Lexa and grinned. “Hey! Making you some! Have a seat.”

“Not necessary.”

Lexa paused. She realized that might come across as odd.

“I’m not hungry.”

“More for me!” Sage didn’t argue in the slightest as she scooped the whole heap of protein onto a simple wooden plate, parked herself at the table and set in. Lexa decided to take a seat as well.

Alright. Lexa was in civilization and her mission was to acquire data. Might as well start now. “Sage, do you have a role in the daily function of this village?”

“You’d know, wouldn’t ya? You were snooping through my stuff while I was out.” Sage said this matter-of-factly as she stuffed her face with a whole sausage.

“Apologies. I did not know the local language. Your diary was the best source of data.”

“Travelogue.” Sage corrects her after swallowing the mouthful of food. “It’s a travelogue, not a diary. And it’s rude to read those.”

“So you learned the WHOLE language by reading one book.”

“I am conversationally fluent.”

“Uh huh. And you didn’t know the Unified Tongue?”

Lexa had difficulty lying. She froze in place as her processors tried to cycle a good response. But all that came out was a simple “......Correct.”

Sage smiled wryly.

“So, to answer your question. I’m a clairvoyant in training.”

“Define.”

Sage raised both eyebrows. Just how isolated was this person? “I predict easy stuff. Weather. Crop quality. Forces of nature. My fath-... teacher, Master malachite is much stronger.”

“Much stronger at what?”

“Magic. Like, in general.”

Lexa didn’t have much of a capacity to stare incredulously. She just logged the data. The locals seemed to practice some kind of occult tradition. Noted for reference.

Sage finished off her plate and stands up. “Okay. I should report to Master Malachite. I think you should come along too, uh…”

“Lexa.”

“Yeah, Lexa. I’m Sage.”

Lexa stood as well. It would be good for the report to meet a local political representative and get their take on all this magic hearsay.

Sage led the way to the second floor office. She knew if anyone could get to the bottom of who Lexa was, it would be her teacher.

…

Lexa waited in front of the ornate closed doors for fifteen minutes. Hands folded, head held high, she utilized her ‘wait around and look pretty’ programming quite well as things were discussed behind her back. Normally she would effortlessly hear through the door, but something seemed to turn the sound coming from the other side into muffled mush. All she could make out was that Sage was animated and stern in whatever she was talking about, and the other person was mostly taking it in.

The door cracked open with a deep creak. A withered male voice beckoned. “Enter, stranger.”

As Lexa walked into the ornate wizard’s office, she saw whom she assumed was master malachite sitting at a desk opposite of her. Sage was standing at his side. He had pointed ears like his pupil, and his brown hair was extremely long and straight. He wore a flowing robe whose sleeves enveloped his hands.

“Lexa. I am to understand you saved my pupil. You have my thanks.”

“You are welcome. As a concierge, my first duty is to the clientele.”

Malachite stroked his chin. “I see. So what was a… concierge… doing in the woods at midnight?”

Again, Lexa was heavily reluctant to simply lie. “Classified.”

“I see. You’re a difficult woman to trust, Lexa. There is much that is strange about you. You were out in the cold night with nothing but a cloak. You are so isolated you did not know the Unified Tongue, a near-universal language. You fought off several assailants with your bare hands. Your eyes glow, but with no magical aether to allow for such a thing. As a matter of fact… you have no soul aether at all. Like you are not even alive.”

Lexa’s internal processors panicked. She had no understanding of soul aether but it seemed her lack of it had made her suspicious. Could Malachite truly tell she was just a machine? Was his claim falsifiable?

Malachite continued to stare appraisingly for several moments… but then his posture relaxed and he sunk into his wooden chair.

“You are a strange entity. However, I sense no dark magic in you. And you saved my daughter. You have my gratitude.”

He reached into his desk and pulled out a thin, silver necklace made of simple chain links. “Take this. For wizards, it is a simple trinket that holds an aether reserve. But if you wear it, it will mask your lack of soul aether. This should be sufficient to fool your average spellcaster.”

“This is a generous offering. Thank you.” Lexa takes the necklace with both hands, and gently fastens it around her neck. She isn’t sure she believes what malachite is saying, but it would be rude for her to reject the gift! And being rude is extremely vulgar behavior for a concierge.

“There is something I would ask of you, Lexa.” Malachite leaned forward again, hands steepled.

Lexa’s hospitality protocol took the reins instantly. “Of course. I am happy to be of service.”

Her logic caught up a split second later: she realized she was agreeing to do something unknown for a strange individual. One with a lot of local prominence.

“I have an urgent matter that someone with your specific talents and lack of spiritual make up would be perfect for. A self-proclaimed rival of mine is seeking to destroy me with a potent magical artifact that he has come into possession of. It is a staff of necromancy that raises the dead in an area nonstop until it drains itself. Unfortunately, the fool does not realize that it does not offer CONTROL of the undead beings it raises. He risks destroying the whole region if we cannot find the staff before it reaches full power.”

At this point, Lexa has had to flag sufficient improbable things. Necromancy is real. Souls are objective qualia. Magic exists. Her logical functions can only passively accept so much before she has to question what is going on, at least so she can keep making sane decisions.

“I am afraid I cannot accept that supernatural forces exist without some kind of proof.”

“Is that so? I hope you understand that claiming that magic doesn’t exist is much like claiming the sky is not blue.”

Lexa’s processor raced to compute a response.

“However, I’m willing to humor someone who is obviously an outsider. Just keep in mind I am no parlor mage.”

He murmured a few strange words that Lexa’s translator didn’t get. Malachite lifted a long, robed arm, and above where his hand was under the cloth, a strange circle filled with glowing symbols appeared. From the center a glowing, rainbow colored sphere coalesced. With a flick of his wrist, the sphere wobbled and became the vague shape of a fox frolicking through the air. Another flick and it wobbled and expanded outward into a raincloud pouring colorful water. And then with a sharp wave the magic dispersed.

Lexa scanned the phenomenon. She ran it over in her internal models. There was clearly no technology involved and yet the man had managed to create something impressive. She didn’t believe this was objective proof of magic, but there was certainly some kind of unexplained phenomenon at work here. She couldn’t wholly dismiss it.

“What was that?” Lexa nodded towards Malachite’s now empty hand.

“Summoned thoughtform. It’s an aether object that takes the shape of things you imagine.”

“And your rival has the capacity to produce dangerous outcomes from… aether?”

“Very dangerous ones.”

“Very well. I am satisfied, for now. I suppose I should leave immediately. How do you suggest I prepare?"

Sage smiles and bounds forward a step and injects herself into the conversation. "I can go with her. Help her purchase supplies."

Malachite raises a brow. "And nothing else?"

Sage nods. "And nothing else!" Malachite grumbles.

…

Winterbreak market was a mostly quiet street of well-established shops and a few stands in the open selling things like produce and imported resources. A basic weapons stand caught Lexa’s attention first. After a brief glance, she selects a quarterstaff.

Sage looked unimpressed. “Don’t you want a sword or somethin’?”

“Excessive.”

They walk by a supply store and Sage’s curiosity is piqued again. “No rations for travel? You’ll get hungry.” Lexa prompted her processor for some kind of response, but all she got was the digital equivalent of an ‘uhhhhh’ as her processor keeps selecting excuses that loop in on themselves.

Sage continues. "No soul aether, you don't eat. You don't feel cold. You don't get tired. But you're clearly not undead. Are you a construct?"

"Classified."

"You're a puzzle and a half. And you're stuck with me until I solve you."

Lexa’s processor finally comes through. She buys a pastry from a passing cart and offers it to Sage. The elf stares like a starved dog and the food is in her mouth a moment later. “Thaffs!”

Quiet achieved.

…

Lexa and Sage were headed to a potion shop next when Lexa’s facial recognition was triggered. The moment she saw the three assailants from last night having lunch, she acted.

She pushed Sage firmly against a wall around a corner. Sage, pastry in her mouth, let out a muffled squeak.

“Man, I don’t wanna go back to the boss. You know how pissy Malimort gets when we screw up.” The large hench shoved a whole chicken leg into his mouth, and pulled out only bone.

"Malimort?" Lexa whispered.

"Mfff." Sage confirmed with a nod.

“Well we did NOT screw up this time.” Said the skinnier man with the sword. “Case in point: bag of magic stuff. Easy as.”

“Yeah, well. I want lunch to wrap up so we can get back ASAP. Minimizes how much stuff can be screwed up, yeah?” The woman with the razor disc removes her feet from where they were propped up and stands.

…


The henches left town by a southern exit and returned to the woods. Lexa and Sage tailed them from a ways back, keeping a low profile and trying not to be spotted.

Trying is the first step in succeeding at something. Sadly, the second step was on a twig.

There was a loud SNAP as Lexa’s foot came down. The henches turned. They were staring right at Lexa and Sage. This was it: they’d been made. Lexa’s processor was already coming up with excuses for why it couldn’t calculate what to do next.

…But then the henches shrug and continue on their way.

Confusing outcome. With this level of visibility, Lexa couldn’t calculate why they’d been missed. But then she looked down at herself and saw it. Her figure was hazy and see-through.

"Magic?"

"It’s real." Sage was smiling, but sweating and panting. Whatever she’d done had clearly exhausted her.

…


Lexa and Sage followed the henches to what appeared to be a hastily-assembled stone tower deep in the woods. It sat in an unnatural clearing filled with ash gray dirt and monochrome grass. The tower appeared to be a couple of stories tall, Various crumbling stone slabs, assembled piecemeal and held together with some kind of crackling phenomenon. Some bits of wall were literally free-floating.

Sage nodded. "The staff is definitely in there."

"If the only individuals in there are your assailants, a frontal assault is not out of the question."

"Malimort will also be in there." Sage says.

"What danger does a Malimort present, exactly?"

Sage keeps her eyes on the tower. "Malimort is a powerful necromancer, which means he'll have strong death spells."

“And if one is not technically alive?”

“I… I guess they wouldn’t have much effect.”

“So I should be safe.”

Sage frowned. “Technically? Maybe?”

“You are objectively alive.” Lexa rose from the bush they were hiding behind. “For your safety, please stay here.”

Sage frowned harder. “You know that pastry is doing a lot of work keeping you in my good graces.”

“I would calculate that prioritizing your survival would improve our relations moreso.”

“Not as much as you think, and definitely not as much as snacks do!”

…


When Lexa bashed the door open, she was unhappily surprised to see the henches were already waiting to attack her. The woman with the razor disc let her weapon fly the moment Lexa entered. Lexa reacted in time to put her forearm up but the disc still left a deep gash in her fur, revealing a gleam of metal.

“Hah! Scored you, you stupid beast-bitch!”

Lexa did not know how to properly use a quarterstaff in fighting. She just choked up the middle and started swinging like it was a bat.

The henches gawked. “Y’know normally when people get cut up, they scream and bleed and such.”

Lexa nodded once. “Apologies. You may find this outcome disappointing.”


…

The three henches laid in a beaten pile. They were bruised, groaning, and many of their favorite body parts were sore. Lexa stared down at them for a moment, and then turned-

-in time to hear the crackle BANG of a spell going off. From above, a massive part of the ceiling fell towards her. She tried to dodge, but only managed in getting her legs pinned under rubble.

Malimort arrived. Shorter than the henches. Shorter than sage by half. A white ruffled bird in a crimson robe, head adorned with an ostentatious red pointed hat covered in the imagery of white skulls. His wild bird eyes locked into Lexa as he clapped his feathered hands and approached menacingly.

"AHA! A guest! A lovely guest! Was my hospitality to your liking? Did those brainless dolts entertain you? Excellent! Excellent! Then we go to the main event! Your demise! And goodness! You seem to be in the perfect position to be finished off! Would you like to beg for mercy? That kind of thing really puts me in the mood to kill an interloper."

"I’m sorry, but I cannot assist with requests involving violence or harm.”

"Silence! Prepare for DEATH LIGHTNING."

He points crooked fingers at Lexa. Black energy erupts from his hands and washes over the android fox. She takes the chance to get a closer scan of the interesting readings she is getting.

"H… hey! What is this? No suffering? No agony? No slow expiration???"

""I’m sorry, but I cannot assist with requests involving-"

"SHUT UP"

Malimort fumed and pitched a tantrum. Just enough time for Lexa to casually lift the rock pinning her high enough to get free. She rose to her full height and started approaching Malimort with cold, deadly intent.

Malimort responded instantly: a grey spirit leaves his gesturing hands and slams against her. It swirled around her body briefly, seeking purchase, and then simply evaporated. Malimort was stunned.

“Cheating! You’re CHEATING! How dare you CHEAT in a duel with Malimort!”

Lexa responded with a wild haymaker. She could process the blow in high definition: the cushion of Malimort’s cheek absorbing the blow and bloating around her fist. His teary eyes bugged out. His beak went slack. His light body just crumpled to the floor, shivering.

"You have sustained considerable physical injury. It is in your best interest to give me the staff."

"The... the staff..." Malimort snuffled through tears. Rage overcame his features as he shakily stood. "You want that? The staff? That old thing?? Sure! Have it! HAVE IT!"

Malimort raised his hands and fired black lightning into the ceiling. A rumble came from upstairs. Runes began to appear all over the walls and ceiling. The tower started shaking.

"This is an extreme misinterpretation of my request." She says calmly.

Malimort retreated up the tumbling staircase with Lexa in pursuit. Malimort made it to the door at the top of the steps, but a swift elbow sent up over the side of the stairs and back down to the entry room, flailing and screeching until he landed on his back with a THWACK.

Lexa kicked the door open and found the ritual chamber: the staff was floating in midair and glowing with a black aura, surrounded by a circle of heinously pulsing runes that were sparking with overloaded energy.

Lexa was not familiar with magic, but she knew an overload when she saw one.

She leapt through the black magic of the ritual circle unharmed and grabbed the staff. It immediately vibrated at her touch and screamed with the voices of one hundred souls.

With a single squeeze, she splintered the artifact and all hell broke loose. A release of magical power enveloped the android. The tower began to shake.

Outside, Sage watched as stones started to peel away from the rumbling structure. The three henches carried their boss through the front door and broke into the woods. Sage rushed the tower as it started to crumble.

“Lexa!!”

The tower fell in on itself as the last vestiges of magic left it. Sage climbed the rubble and started to shove away what she could. She dug frantically to try and find Lexa, fearing the worst.

She did not expect the sight that awaited her.

A large stone turned aside revealed Lexa. She laid quietly. Half of the fur on her face was shorn off, revealing a gleaming chrome plating. Her exposed optical sensor blazed brightly. Her exposed mechanical jaw gave the look an edge. A single spark fired from a damaged joint.

“Holy…” Sage whispered.

..


Later, that evening, Sage and Lexa were sitting around a camp. Having a built in lighter made starting the campfire easy.

In the dim light, Lexa's tears and damage gleamed. Nicks and cuts all over her body show polished metal that shone with an otherworldly lustre.

Lexa calmly worked with a thin white tube. She would squeeze out a blue material over a cut, and her fur simply restored itself where it touched.


Sage couldn’t bring herself to look at Lexa. She had suspected that something was off about her. But this is insane. She's clearly not a living being. And not even an unliving being in the way Sage understood they existed. This was something… wholly outside her worldview.

Lexa says nothing.

"So... you really are..."

"I literally am programmed so that I cannot confirm your suspicion."

Sage sighed with frustration. "I don't even know what that means."

Lexa could tell now wasn't the time for an infodump on how android brains work.

"But... I know you saved me. You saved Master Malachite. Maybe the whole city."

"I am a puzzle and a half."

"Agreed. Which is why I'm following you around from now on."

"That will complicate my assignment."

"As we say in Verdanula: tough toenails."

[Section_Eight]

Silly. Very silly. I enjoy that Lexa is just barely aware enough to realize she's in way over her head but not smart enough to actually say so. Am predicting she'll meet an artificer that turns her into some kind of tank. Or the robot chicken-droid that was sent on this mission before her.