Describing mechanical sounds

[RoxxyRobofox]

Hey! I am writing a new story for the boards and I'm having trouble coming up with ways to describe the sounds of servos and motors and whirring fans without it getting same-y. Do any writers out there have any suggestions for how to keep effects like that fresh or advice for describing the robotic-ness of androids in general?

[D.Olivaw]

Other than thesaurus.com I can't really suggest anything. I'm having a bit of trouble with it myself.

[--NightBattery--]

i think using onomatopoeias can be a little silly.
Maybe you just can use adjetives to let the mind of the reader adapt the type of sound to their liking.
"a docile beep and the dying sound of unpowered servos revealed her robotic nature"
""the motor inside her chest humed boastfully as the recharging needle thrusted inside her"
i dunno.
that never get's old.





Regards.

[Saya]

A good way to do it is to try and keep the descriptions of the sounds at a minimum. Don't go too overboard in describing each sound every time it happens. Like, for example, describe early on what the gynoid's limbs might sound like in motion, then add descriptors like "the mechanisms that drove her hips began to make a very stressed sound". Often times, it can be best to leave the reader with as minimal an example as possible, so their minds can fill in the blanks with their own interpretations. If all else fails and you aren't sure how to spice it up, I suggest careful use of an onamonapia (e.x: "A distinct 'vrrrrrr' noise was heard"), but I stress carefully, as done poorly it can sound a little silly.

[RoxxyRobofox]

Thank you guys all very much for the feedback! It really helps.

A good way to do it is to try and keep the descriptions of the sounds at a minimum. Don't go too overboard in describing each sound every time it happens. Like, for example, describe early on what the gynoid's limbs might sound like in motion, then add descriptors like "the mechanisms that drove her hips began to make a very stressed sound". Often times, it can be best to leave the reader with as minimal an example as possible, so their minds can fill in the blanks with their own interpretations. If all else fails and you aren't sure how to spice it up, I suggest careful use of an onamonapia (e.x: "A distinct 'vrrrrrr' noise was heard"), but I stress carefully, as done poorly it can sound a little silly.

What are you doing here though, Saya? You're supposed to be programmed to think I'm perfect already!

[tectile]

I agree with Saya.

When I read things like zzzzt or rrrrr it always make me think of comic books or the old Batman TV series from the 60'

I much prefer the something like "I could just make out the small mechanical sounds of the servos that drove her legs as she walked into the bedroom".

[Robjoe]

I think Saya pretty much hit the nail on the head with the idea that things don't always need to be described. Not that description should necessarily be marginalized, but constantly describing the same few things every time they occur is as tedious to read as it is frustrating to write. In general, try to think of one (or better yet, two) evocative descriptions for each sound. Use one when the sound first appears, and try to use some kind of audible word in the description, even if it's just something basic like 'whine'. Anything is going to paint a more accurate and interesting picture in your reader's mind than "the sound". Even the best adjectives need a base to build off of. After a sound's debut, though, don't stress so much over its description. "That ever-so distinctive sound" is perfectly acceptable (and probably even better than reusing 'whine') now that the reader already has the particular sound in their mind. Once you've given the reader the components, let their imagination combine them to complete the scene.

One notable exception is if you're dealing with an important scene or turning point in the story. Remember how I said it's better yet to come up with two really gripping descriptions? Use that other one here if you have it. Even if the sound itself hasn't changed drastically, reinforcing the reader's image of certain major elements at a time like this will add some weight to the scene, and perhaps even make them see the subject of the description in a new light.

Additionally, if you really want to have an onomatopoeia [I like how that word manages to string together four of the five English vowels. Not unwieldy in the slightest!] like 'whirrrrr' or something similar, I suggest having a character say it. It's going to sound silly no matter how you use it, but if it's coming out of a character's mouth (and if that character has an appropriate personality so they actually seem like they'd say it), the reader is a lot more likely to accept it.

Actually, that's a general rule I abide by when when writing with a third-person narrator. I keep the narrator as objective and "professional" as possible, and anything opinionated, heavily biased, or just plain silly is communicated via character dialogue. Now, if the narrator is actually a character (either recounting the events in first- or second-person style or merely being a third-person narrator with a defined personality), obviously the "professional" writing style need not apply, but you still need to keep their character in mind when they mention something subjective that conflicts with their own opinions. For example, "[...] and Jack once again described the opening of my control panel with that absurd little high-pitched "wheeeee" vocalization, oblivious as ever to how childish it makes him sound...."

I'm sure some of that is really just my personal writing style talking, but hopefully it's helpful advice nonetheless.

A good way to do it is to try and keep the descriptions of the sounds at a minimum. Don't go too overboard in describing each sound every time it happens. Like, for example, describe early on what the gynoid's limbs might sound like in motion, then add descriptors like "the mechanisms that drove her hips began to make a very stressed sound". Often times, it can be best to leave the reader with as minimal an example as possible, so their minds can fill in the blanks with their own interpretations. If all else fails and you aren't sure how to spice it up, I suggest careful use of an onamonapia (e.x: "A distinct 'vrrrrrr' noise was heard"), but I stress carefully, as done poorly it can sound a little silly.

What are you doing here though, Saya? You're supposed to be programmed to think I'm perfect already!

Psssssh, guess again. Her processor is pathetically vulnerable.