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by GZ02 » Mon Aug 04, 2003 9:26 pm
Speaking of 'cult classics'...
Hmm, ya know, this could be the start of something interesting: old classics re-adapted with gynoid content!
How about the last scene from 'Gone With The Wind':
SCARLETT: But Rhett! Rhett! Whatever shall I DO?! Wherever shall I GO?!
BUTLER: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. (leaves, closing door behind him)
(cut to RHETT BUTLER on the front porch fixing himself before leaving Scarlett forever. Scarlett's muffled voice emits from the other side of the door.)
SCARLETT: But Rhett! Rhett! Whatever shall I DO?! Wherever shall I GO?!
(BUTLER turns surprised. Looks at the door briefly and makes ready to leave again)
SCARLETT: But Rhett! Rhett! Whatever shall I DO?! Wherever shall I GO?!
(BUTLER, confused, turns back to the house and hurriedly opens the door)
BUTLER: Scarlett! What is the meaning of thi...
(he instantly notices SCARLETT in the same outreached entreating position she was in as he was leaving. Her arms are outstretched. Her expression is frozen in a pleading gesture. Suddenly, she stands at attention, blank, vacant expression for a second and exclaims again...)
SCARLETT: Rhett! Rhett!! (etc. etc.)
(...and freezes again-same outstretched stance)
BUTLER: Scarlett? Scarlett!! Can you hear me? Are you ill?! What’s come over y-?
(SCARLETT pleads again…)
BUTLER: (starting to get scared) Oh, dear Scarlett! Please stop this–look, I’ve changed my mind–I’m not going anywhere! (pleading) I’ll stay with you! We’ll get married! We’ll have children! Just please stop this…this…madness…
(takes SCARLETT in his arms but to his surprise and horror she’s as stiff as a board)
BUTLER: (horrified) What in heaven?! (smells something funny, like burning rubber. He looks at SCARLETT to see a thin wisp of smoke coming out of an upturned ear)
BUTLER: Oh Dear GOD!!! (panics and throws SCARLETT onto the floor in his horror)
(silence for a moment then a muffled beep is heard coming from INSIDE Scarlett. A strangled monotone voice then escapes her partially opened mouth)
SCARLETT: (beep)…Old South Robotics series 600 Human Emulation Robot. OSR600-F2 ‘Scarlett’ model. Massive system failure detected. Un-unable to to toooo com-comply-eye eye. (the pitch of her voice changes like a record slowing down) Total internnnnnnnnal mellllltt–tttttt down immmmmmmm….inent. My mmmmmost sin-sin-sincere apolll apollllogies, Rhetttttttttttt…..
(a brief spark emits out of an ear. SCARLETT lays still, on her back. Her face is frozen in a look of surprise)
BUTLER: Scarlett…
(a gloved hand touches his shoulder. It’s a TECHNICIAN dressed up in a white lab suit)
BUTLER: (surprised and awed) Dear God! Are…are you a…an angel? Are you taking my Scarlett away?
TECH: Uh, well yeah I’m taking her away but chill, man. I’m no angel, I’m just a techie. I just gotta call to this address to pick up yer honey lyin’ on the floor there.
BUTLER: My poor Scarlett…she was fine a while ago, and then she…
TECH: Yeah, I know. It’s happened a lot to these Civil War models recently. Their CPU’s are standard issue and they can’t take the processing power needed to cope with highly emotional sit-iations. Sorry about that, man.
BUTLER: (totally puzzled by this individual’s strange banter) See-Pee-Ew ??
TECH: (waving him off) Nevermind. Hey, you got a phone around here I could use?
BUTLER: (honestly puzzled) Phone?
TECH: Uh, yeah. I gotta call in. (the TECH slings SCARLETT over his back)
BUTLER: Call in??
TECH: (beginning to get irritated) Yes, I need a ‘tel-e-phone’ (enunciates slowly, makes dialing gestures) to call the company so I can bring this girl in. My cell’s down. C’mon, man, I don’t got time to chit the chat.
BUTLER: Sorry, chap. No idea what you’re driving at. Er..what is ‘my cell’s down’?
(awkward silence for a moment)
TECH: (realizing) Hey! What year is it?
BUTLER: (still lost) Er…it’s 1861…
(the TECH slaps his free hand on his forehead and laughs heartily)
TECH: Well, shewt! No wonder my cell doesn’t work–no satellites! Don’t worry about it then my friend. I’ll just go ahead anyway…whew, this girl’s heavy…(makes ready to leave)
BUTLER: Wait! Good fellow! Can you bring her back? (desperate) I’ve grown very close to her and I fear that life without my dear Scarlett will not be worth living…
TECH: We’ll see pal. I doubt it though. She’s damaged pretty badly. Probably end up never seeing her again…how about I fix you up with Marlene Dietrich’s character from ‘Blue Angel’?
BUTLER: What?! Me with that tarty Kraut?! You’re out of your mind! I want…I NEED Scarlett!!
TECH: That’s showbiz, pal. Sorry.
…and so on and so on…you get the idea.
Last edited by
GZ02 on Mon Jan 26, 2004 8:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
