1st Attempt: The branch I wrote for FYOP/The Lab scene

[kelbek00]

Hey guys, I just wrote a branch for FYOP/The Lab scene.
It's for the Japanese party girl with mechanical motion branch.

It's my first attempt at a fembot story, so tell me how you think of it. =]

[TheSpotConlon]

I really like your writing style! It was a fun read, even if it sort of felt weird to be reading it in pieces without any other branches.

If you want to take a stab at writing other branch-offs for that scenario, or even a story about what happens after, then I'm sure that we wouldn't object.

[Pvt. Prinny]

Woo, lurker postin!

Anyway, like SpotConlon said, I think you have a fantastic writing style! However, the ending is really sudden, and doesn't really have any effect. I think it would be a great idea to include what happens at the party, with maybe a huge malfunctioning "bad ending", and then a good ending where they have an awesome night together.

In all, it has a lot of promise and is really good so far, it just needs more, IMO.

[kelbek00]

thanks guys. It really means a lot to me.

I will write some more over thanksgiving when I have more free time.

[DollSpace]

Hey guys, I just wrote a branch for FYOP/The Lab scene.
It's for the Japanese party girl with mechanical motion branch.

It's my first attempt at a fembot story, so tell me how you think of it. =]

Where is this posted again?

Catie

[TheSpotConlon]

It's posted over at the "Follow Your Own Plot" section at the FembotWiki. Here's the direct link:

http://www.fembotwiki.com/index.php?tit ... _Lab_Scene

I may try to get one of the branches done myself, but I've got something else in the works... once I finish NaNo...