Hi, need a good story title :)

[mike12]

Hi, I posting my story but I dont have a title for it (cant think of a good one) and I just wondering if anyone can help me out ? Here is my story

The

Chapter 1
(The start 40 years earlier, in deep space a electronic field comes
close to a planet where a robot war was going on, the field hits one of
the robot like a lighting bolt. The robot shut down and left for dead, but
inside the robot the electronic field merges with the robot and come alive.
But the robot get hit by a bomb and gets destroy. Now 35 year later, a group
of soldier go by and find a robotic hand in the mud, so the soldier pick all
the parts up and take in to a place where 2 ladies scientist where testing
a new way to probe into robotic drones and units. The soldiers leave the parts
with them. One of the scientist decide it time to test their new cyber
circuit suit, one of the scientist put on the her helmet on and hook
into the main frame of a stange unit head that came from the soldiers.
She turn on their machines and start to look through the robot memory.
Why'll she was doing that the other scientist was looking over what was
happening. Why'll looking threw the robot memory a electronic pulse
hits her in the head giving her a electronic shocks as the energy field
with electronic part enter her mind. In the outside world the other
scientist is trying turning off the equipment off and unhooking her
from the robot heads. You okay?, said her friend. Yes I think so
I feel kind of strange but I laid down for awhile. As she sleeps she
hears in her mind a robotic voice that said "We need you, help us escape
and make us a new robot body!!" She wake up feeling like something controling
her. You okay Sue?, said her friend. I dont know I feel something happen
when searching threw that robot head what the soldier brought in and know
I feel .... ( the robot inside her head stop her from saying anything else).
Sorry I feel okay with a smile. Let take the rest of the day off and I see
you tomorrow okay. She leave for that day and goes to sleep in her courters.
Why'll in her dream she find herself in this metal world and confronted by a
robotic being from another world. What going on and why you in my mind??
Then suddenly this iron maiden in a woman form comes towards the her. You
are me!, in the robotic voice. What?? How can that be!!" Then the robot
being tells her that you be chosen to be our conscourt and to be one with
us! As the robot being tells her this the iron maiden brakes up and starts
to cover her with it parts. Now fully encased inside the maiden why her
head still human the robot being head attaches and start to hover over her
head she asked," What are you doing to me?" Then the head of the robot being
lower over her head and merges with the maiden. From this the lady stop talking
and just looks out into space why'll the face plate lower over the helmet and
bolts onto the helmet why'll you see her look out of the mask. She screams
and wakes up knowing what she has to do (make a new body the robot)

Chapter 2
She leaves her room and goes back to the lab and tells the guard that
she working on a project and she wants no visitors. She goesin the lab
and start working on the robot body in female form (just like the iron maiden
in her dream). Hours later her fellow scientist friend comes in and see her
making something. She say it a project of my and I do need help. So they have
a decision about it and she tells her friend that she doesn't need her so take
a week off because there nothing really happening here. Her friend decide to
leave and said she you see you in a week. By herself she starts to make a armour
metallic shell from the strange robot and other robotic parts. She now
finishes the main body but not the head for the suit, so she probe
into the strange robot memory again and it tells her how the too
finishes the process by using the processor chips and memory circuit in
the strange robot head and putting in a helmet. So she design a helmet
that the robot planted in her head and she finishes it 2 days later.
She make contact the robot with probe unit hook into the helmet and the
newly contracted robot say good work and how a little help from you my
dear, I need you put on the metallic armour suit (my body) with your
cyber circuit suit on first so that we be fused together and later you
put my head on so I can live! She then take off the probe helmet and
she cant believe what happening to her, so she start to leave the lab
but the metallic suit stop her and takes her to the helmet. She tries
to scream but the robot body stop her and pick up the helmet and put it
on her head. You see electronic glow around the mask and then the lady
takes off the helmet and say, yes I will comply and the robotic body lets
her go. Few minutes later dressed in the cyber circuit suit, she starts
to put on the robotic body parts why'll you see electronic sparks both suits
are merging. Know in the robotic body, she tries to fight but her body goes
toward the helmet why'll the robot say, "PUT MY HEAD ON!!" why'll fighting.
The the robot body pick up the helmet and put on over her head. She say
I find away to stop you..you..thing!! Sorry my dear but you have no choice
in the matter!! as the helmet is lower her head. The helmet then locks into
place and the robot maiden says" I am a live with hehehehe" with 2 diffent
voices one robotic and the lady voice too in a robotic sound.

Chapter 3 -

A week has gone by and the scientist friends come in the lab, she notice that
her friend project is gone, she start out the door when her friend calls out,
what wrong in a robotic voice? You sound different? You can say that when coming
toward her. Are you in that robotic suit and why you have that helmet on?? You
dont have to worry about me, why'll taking off the helmet. Then the scientist lady
trap inside the robot say, "help me Sue, the robot has me trap and control over me!!"
Then the robot tries to put the helmet back on why'll her friend tries to stop but
cant because the robot to strong. Stepping back from her friend the robot take the
helmet and lower the helmet over her head, then the helmet is electronic lock forever!
Your friend is now under my control and she will stay inside me forever and you must
die!!. The robot goes after and grabs her and knock her out. The robot maiden then put
her in a electronic washed machine by (like a iron maiden) and goes to the which and turns
the machine on. The machine star to close why'll the other lady is uncongess and closes.
But the robot turns off the machine before it starts in process because it need another
human for other plains for it people who are trap. The robot pick up that machine and decide that
the lab must be destroy so that she cant escape or get out, so the robot set fire to the lab
destroying any chance for her to escape. Running from the building the robot looks back
(you she her crying through the robot eyes) turns and disapear into the night.

The End

I am going to add my story to my web site and I like to make pics for my story. But I like to asked if anyone can help me out, I like to use the spidy goes to hollywood "honey robot" for the pics with a actress I already pick to be turn into a robot. Please leave a message or email me and I add you for helping me out with my story. See you around.

[Keizo]

Your story has potential. Perhaps a title for it would lie in the subject matter... something like "Dark Fusion" or "Symbionic Possesion."
I hope that you do not take this the wrong way but I would like to add some constructive critism. The grammatical flow needs work such as the separation of the dialogue by indention and quotations. I am going to assume that English is not your first language due to the sentence structure and missuse of certain words such as "know" when you mean to say "now." This is not a bad thing. What I mean by this is that you may want to try to write it out in your familiar language first to polish the ideas. Another benefit of this would be to draw more interest in gynoids from the international community as this audience doesn't usually have the amount of material available to English speaking cultures.
The ideas are interesting and this story is more original than some others, it just needs work on the execution. It is almost as if you are trying to say too much too quickly. You are basically writing down your ideas and forcing them to make a story. Take a little more time to develop it and you will have something good.
I don't mean to offend by this at all. I'm trying to help you understand how this may have been perceived. As it is, I don't usually read stories because I think very differently about gynoids than others in the community. Normally I wouldn't respond because forced transformation isn't my interest but the lack of response you have gotten so far has made me take a second look at your post. Don't be too discouraged by the lack of response. That is pretty normal here. Since you are relatively new to this site, I want to also welcome you and thank you for making the effort. Like I said, you are in a position to broaden this interest to other cultures so don't give up. It just takes patience and practice.

[Mirage]

I agree with Keizo with the structure of the story, it needs to be more "easy" to read when the characters are talking.

I am glad to see someone also going toward more an action style story than your typical story.

and Myself, I do kill english sometimes (L), so, don't feel bad.

I wonder how many people on this board that english language is not their pirmary like me?

About writing, My best advice is try to write it as a script for a movie, visualise the story and if people can understand everything that is going on. (action style is the hardest, trust me).

Title "Possession"?

just me 2 canadian pennies...

Mirage

[mike12]

Okay I understand my english is not that great, but I wonder can someone help me out on my story, I be real greatfully ? Please contact me if you can help me, thanks.