(Now my famous Cooking with Antoine!)
Cooking with Antoine and the Gynoid , part 1
Antoine: Boujour, every one, welcome to my new cooking show, Cooking with Antoine. I have my beautiful assitante, my gynoid. Say Hello to the nice people looking at us, robot.
Gynoid : Hello to the nice people looking at us, robot.
Antoine: Non, non, non, Just hello to the nice people, silly robot.
Gynoid : Yes, master. Just hello to the nice people, silly robot.
Antoine: Zut, anyhow, today, we will cook a nice meal, entrees, main course and desert. So, for the entrees, we will prepare a nice Caesar Salad. Robot, can you get the salad and dice it?
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(Start to cut salad up)
Antoine: "Ah, nice, now, please, as topping, I need some crushed nuts.
Gynoid : Crushed nuts, yes, master.
(The gynoid turns around and face Antoine and reaches for his balls and crushes them)
(Antoine falls on the floor rolling in pain)
Antoine: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Not my testicles!!! Aaaahhhh!!!
Antoine: Ahh... the pain, so paining... Stupid robot! Not those nuts!
(Slowly get's up and reached for the salad)
Antoine: Haha... robot made silly joke... Let's continue with the salad. Robot, please toss a bit the salad for me.
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(Takes the salad and pitches it at the camera crew)
Antoine : Non! Non! Not that, you reject toaster! Stop it!
(Antoine gets the rest of the salad and looks at the camera)
Antoine: Err.. Let's skip the salad and go at the main course. Today, we will cook some of my favorite style, Chinese. Robot, start cooking it for me.
Gynoid : Cook Chinese. Yes, master.
(Gynoid walk's off the set and grabs one of the camera man (who is a Chinese) and throw's him in the oven and start cooking him.
Camera man :Aaaaah!!!!! Help me!! Help! She's cooking me!!!
Antoine: Stop it! Stop it! You piece of shit robot!!! Let him go!!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
Antoine: Be quiet and slice me up some...
(Before he finish his sentence, she slashes him in the face with a clever knife).
Gynoid : I am slicing you up, master
Antoine: Aaaahhhh!!! Stop it! Stop it! Let me finish my sentence, you crazy robot!
(Antoine stop the bleeding with some plastic wraps.)
Antoine : Before anything else, robot, get me some vegetables.
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(She leaves the set in a hurry)
Antoine : What? Where is she gone? Oh well, let's continue with the food.
After a few minutes past, the android comes back with a comatose man in a wheelchair, drooling).
Antoine : What? Who is this??
Gynoid : He is a vegetable, master.
Antoine : GGRrrrrr! Stupid robot! Start doing the desert! People, for desert, she will prepare Devil's chocolate cake!!
Gynoid : Devil's chocolate cake. Yes, master
(She grabs a knife and cut's a pentagram on the floor and start to make some incantations.)
Antoine : What the hell are you doing?
(Satan appears)
Satan : Who dares summon me???? What wishes do you have to ask me?
Gynoid : Please prepare your cake, Mr. Satan.
Satan : Prepare a cake???? ok...
(Satan puts on a cook's hat on and an apron and start making a cake)
Antoine : ....... ok.... Satan is preparing a cake for us... ok....
(Antoine just stairs at Satan until Satan finish the cake.)
Satan : Voila, the cake is finish, now, I get your soul!!!
(Satan face the gynoid and point his finger at her)
Satan : Hahahah! Your soul is mine!!!!! ..... Er.... nothing is happening.... She has no soul!!
Antoine : Of course not, she is a robot!
Satan : A robot! She is not real??? You tricked me!!!! You tricked me!!! Nooo!!!!!
(Satan leaves the set in a flash as flames devours him back to hell).
Antoine : Well, that's all the time we have for today, see you soon!!!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
The end.
More cooking with Chef Antoine and Gynoid.
Antoine: Welcome back, mes amies! Today, we'll prepare new delicouis food for your mouth to water. And also welcome my beautiful but idiotic gynoid! Ahhh, ain't she a beauty. So, for first, we will make a quick entree. Gynoid, come here!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
Antoine: Please cut me some frogs legs, my petite!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(Takes a butcher knife and start hacking at Antoine's legs)
Antoine: AAHhh!!!! Stop it! Stop it! You are cutting off my legs!
Gynoid : Yes, master.You said frogs legs. You are from France. You are call frogs by many other countries.
Antoine: Maudite robot! Don't listen to others, only to me! Now, cut thoses real frogs legs! Not mine!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
Antoine:So, for the main course, we'll cook Sherard's pie. Ok? Robot, start getting the ingridiantes!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(Leaves the room for many minutes)
Antoine: Ahhhh Quelle idiote! Anyway, I'll prepare the vegetables and meat. Ahhh que sa va etre bon! Mmmm...
(Gynoid comes back with a Shepard and his sheeps)
Antoine: Merde!! Who are you?? My bestialy friend?
Gynoid : He is a sheppard, from Australia.
Shepard : This lady told me I had a pie here?
Antoine: GO BACK WHERE SHE FOUND YOU!
(Shepard leaves angry with his sheeps)
Antoine: Stupid robot!!! Now, get me some meat for my pie!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(Leaves the room)
Antoine: Ahhh, now she is gone, I'll continue! We need to bake the top in the oven very lighlty.
Gynoid : Here, master.
(Give's him a huge chunk of bloody meat)
Antoine: What's is this???
Sheppard : Hey, frenchie! I am missing one of my sheep! Did you see it.
Antoine: Er... no... I think it went back to New Zealand.
(Hiding the bloody carcass in his back)
Sheppard : New Zealand?? Thank you!
(Leaves the set).
Antoine: Stupid Robot! Anyway, for desert, we'll make a rocky road icecream shake! Yummy!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(Leaves the room with a jack-hammer)
Antoine : NO! Come back here! Come back! Sorry folks, must leave already! See you next time!
(Run's after the gynoid)
The end.
Cooking with Chef Antoine and Gynoid (part 3)
Chef Antoine : Ah, welcome, my hungry friends! Today is a special day, because today, we will cook haute cuisine from the americans pigs in the west. Yes, you have guess it, we are going to cook fast food!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
Chef Antoine : First, we will cook some French Fries, to go along with our main course! Ah oui!
Gynoid : Yes, master.
Chef Antoine : Robot, prepare the french frie while I prepare the meat.
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(She grabs the left hand of Chef Antoine and she insert one of her fingers in a power outlet, sending a pulse of electricity to him, shocking him extremely)
Chef Antoine : AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!............ Sacre Bleu! Why did you eletrok me like that???
Gynoid : You are french, and I fried you. I made a French frie.
Chef Antoine : Merde!! Stupid machine! Anyway, next, we prepare Hamburgers. Robot, get me the hamburgers.
Gynoid : Yes, master. Master, this is not ham. I am confused. Please explain.
Chef Antoine : No, it's ground beef, not ham! M
Gynoid : Yes, master. Ground beef.
(Drops the meat on the floor and start stepping on it)
Chef Antoine : NO! Stop stepping on it!!!!!! That's is not the way to make patties!!!! Stop it!
Gynoid : Yes, master, I was trying to insert the meat in the ground.
Chef Antoine : Oh non, oh non... Well, so, let's prepare some juicy delicouis Buffalo Wings!
Gynoid : Yes, master. Buffalo wings.
(Leaves the room quickly)
Chef Antoine :Where are you going???? Come back!! Reviens ici!!!
Chef Antoine : Well, she is gone again, don't know where, merde.
(A few minutes later, she comes back with a test tube in her hands)
Chef Antoine : Oh, and what do you have in your hands, ma cherie?
Gynoid : We will have Buffalo Wings in 3 years.
Chef Antoine : 3 years???
Gynoid : Yes, master. I have sussesfully combine the D.N.A. of a Chicken and a Buffalo in this embryo. It will reach full maturity in 3 years.
Chef Antoine : MON DIEU!!!! How can you do that??? Don't you know what you did is against the lord's name????
Gynoid : No, master.
Chef Antoine : Oh mon Dieu, quelle desastre. Well, for the desert, I think I'll skip it and make ourselves a drink to relax. Robot., make me a Martiny... Wait, make me a Bloody Mary.
Gynoid : Yes, master.
(Grabs an knife and goes in the producers box of the show and ask one of the woman if her name is Mary Aliston, the woman say's yes.)
Gynoid : One bloody Mary coming up.
(start slashing at a woman in it)
Producer being slashed : AAAAAAHhhhhh!!!!!!
Chef Antoine : Stop it!!! Stop it!!!! Someone get an ambulance!!!! Oh mon Dieu!
(Show stop transmiting)
The end
Old Cooking with Antoine and gynoid episodes. Enjoy!
- Mirage
- Posts: 1270
- Joined: Sun May 26, 2002 5:43 pm
- Technosexuality: None of your business
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- x 2
- Contact:
- htb21
- Posts: 264
- Joined: Sun May 26, 2002 8:50 pm
- Location: Canada
- Contact:
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests