A Start to Something Big

[Malkozaine]

I know this story is kinda short, but after taking gynoneko advice I started to piece all my ideas together and figured I should throw it up here to see how it goes and before my lazyness kicks in and I don't end up doing anything with it. This is all part of a lager story I have been meaning to write for some time now. Never planed on writing a pro-log for it but figured it would help set up the main story a bit better. Feel free to tell me what you think so far and please forgive my mistakes......I have all these great ideas but never tend to write much so my skills are kinda iffy.

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“Dr. Akin, do you really think this is a good idea?” A young woman in a lab coat asked.
“No, but it’s the only way to set things right.” Dr. Akin said as he paced around the small office they were in. “Look Sara, this stupid war has gone on for too long. At this rate the whole world will be burnt to ashes. If I don’t do something to protect the backbone and infrastructure of the internet, the world will got to shit even if we don't end up killing everybody.”
“But sir I still don't understand why you need to break into the militaries satellite network.” Sara asked.
“I don’t expect you too. Doing that serves two purposes. First, at the rate everything is going it looks like nukes will soon be used in this war even though there is a treaty against their use. That's why before that happens I want to set up a fail safe in all the satellite networks around the world keep them running. That way if the worse happens they can all be rerouted to keep the net alive so some form of communication and access to information will still be around. Second, access to military systems will allow me to get any and all the equipment and supplies I need to finish my projects.”
“By projects I assume you mean the androids you stole from the group you worked for last?” Sara asked again.
“Stole is a strong word. Even though I worked for those guys when I started the project, they aren’t getting one damn line of code or cybernetics from me. Plus they will be my final creations......my way of passing on my legacy to the world. I didn’t want my last greatest thing I make be turned into a murdering machine.” said Dr. Akin. “I know I programed you to to be my assistant but I feel I should still ask anyway. Are you willing to walk into the bowels of hell with me to make sure something good comes out of all this fighting?”
Sara replied, “I will do everything within my programing to help you get to your goals.”

To be continued.....

[gynoneko]

Well it's a start. A little short but it gets the point across. If you keep practicing, you will get better and writing. I look forward to seeing what you do with this story.
Maybe one thing you can do is describe your characters. We don't have any idea what Akin and Sara look like. If you want some practice, try adding a little personal touch to the character to describe what they look like, what they're wearing, what they're doing. How old are they? Does she look human or machine? Maybe you can even put a hint that he is currently working on something while talking with her, and reveal at the end he is working on her. Just some suggestions. Keep up the good work.
(Oh, and it's "prologue" not "pro-log")

[Malkozaine]

Yea I know it needs some work just wanted to get it up there so I had it on paper. Good thing is I am going to rewrite it a bit cause after giving it a day to look at it and reading your advice I have figured out some ways to change I a bit to make it work better. Sorry if my spelling and grammar where off I wrote that really late at night. Also thanks for the help, I almost removed the story last night cause I kinda felt I should've waited but you helped me stay motivated. I am also open to input to anything people would like to see.

[Malkozaine]

Damn it stupid cellphone......doesn't like posting here.