Soccer-Mom Unit - 23 - Grasp

Share your fembot fiction and fantasies here or discuss the craft of writing by asking for or giving suggestions.
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rs5420
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Post by rs5420 » Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:25 pm

If i was Brad, the story should turned very bad for Pam, and she probably ended into a smoking pile of torn metal, and me over jumping on it until the last LED stopped to blink! :lol:

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Post by zerodin » Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:45 pm

Story had good moments, but the ending sucked pretty damned hard.

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Post by sarabot » Thu Dec 21, 2006 12:51 am

great one, robotman

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Law of averages

Post by loki4213 » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:59 am

We all knew this was not going to be a love story.


Loved it. Keep up the good work.

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blake_sigma
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BRAD, YOU WILL BE MISSED

Post by blake_sigma » Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:39 am

Dude. that was harsh. He didn't have to died like that.

I have officially lost faith in FEMBOT CONTROL. For a group that is supposed to be more advanced than ROBOT CONTROL, sure is showing that they are way behind (the answers to there search is right in front of them). The only good thing that I can see from the ending is that the kids survived. :( :(


Overall, You are amazing with all your series and I hope to read more in the future (I still have not got out of my writers block).

Until then, enjoy your holidays and HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!! :D :D :D

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DrFranklin
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Very good.

Post by DrFranklin » Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:47 am

Your abilities as a storyteller get better each time, Rman.

I could tell it was emotionally hard for you to write. What tone/feel were you going for? Thriller?

A more hollywood plot would be Colin and a bunch of other folks meet an unfortunate end at the hands of Fembot Control, but Brad and the kids escape perhaps with the help of the Blonde waitress ( who has her own secret )

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Post by Pleasurebot » Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:54 am

I think it's a pacing issue... After 20something stories, the action picked up (maybe a little too much?)

Of course, I *wish* there were more misadventures... :cry:

But this was great! I want to read the next story soon...

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Post by rickdrat » Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:12 pm

Great job Robotman. The more dark and forboding the better. Although I'm glad you said it ended abrubtly. I was thinking as much, but he who has not posted his own stories shall not cast the first stone. Anyway, I can never get enough of your work so go recharge that imagination of yours.

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Post by Devil » Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:06 pm

Great story, was surprised to see it end so quickly. Not only was that a great story, but you got some of the dormant members out of hiding...

Ryan

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Post by 123bot » Mon Dec 25, 2006 1:03 am

Wow! The end is kinda hard but I love it! Nice one!

You should make another story with Pam paying back for what she has done to Brad.
Pam getting destroyed...she malfunction...we are happy by this scene..............you know the deal :lol:

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Post by zerodin » Mon Dec 25, 2006 9:06 pm

Well if it was the robotic equivalent of traumatic then yeah, it's square.

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Post by CB427 » Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:08 pm

OMG !!! That was COLD! Now what's gonna happen to the kids?Good story,but DAMN,What an ending!Any chance of an epiloge?

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Post by blake_sigma » Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:24 am

You mean like the son growing up to be a fembot hunter or something like that after he finds out what really happened to his father. That would be an awesome story, especiallly if he runs into the offsprings/pupils of 3 particular fembots (you know which ones and you know its going to happen).

We'll leave it in Robotman's hands

Thanks again for the stories :D

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GZ02
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Post by GZ02 » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:23 pm

Nah, sounds like that's already been done. :wink:

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Post by valtech1218 » Mon Jan 01, 2007 12:34 am

great work robotman the story was awesome

any chance of a spin off????

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Post by rs5420 » Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:46 pm

Robotman, i took an opportunity to strech a side story inside of your story, tell me if you like it. 8)

Brad was enjoying his little break from reality that night. He and Khaled played some pool and threw money into the jukebox to hear songs they could have heard on the radio for free. The alcohol had thinned out his blood and acted like an analgesic on his body and his mind. In his drunken haze, he found himself stealing longer and more frequent glances at that cute blonde barmaid.

She was dressed to enjoy the weather and to increase the amount of cash she got in tips. The shape of her figure lent itself quite well to that, but Brad knew it wouldn't be right to look too much at the curves she seemed all too eager to display. Khaled said, "forget about her, Brad, she's really not your type, unless you like doing it with a toaster or something". Brad was still undressing the waitress with his eyes, pourred a distracted answer to Khaled "What are you talking about?". Khaled pointed the barmaid with his thumb, looking at Brad "Did you ever had a discussion with her?". He declined by a faith sign of his head "No, why?". Khaled continued "Because you would know that she's just one of those new robots we now see everywhere". Brad laughed "You're kidding me, right?" he faced Khaled to see his eyes, and he knew he wasn't joking.

Brad called the barmaid and simply asked her "excuse me miss, may i ask you a personnal question?". The barmaid came over and smiled to Brad "Yes, what's for your service?" pushing her long hairs on her back. Brad took his courage and let go the stupid question "are you a robot?" and taking a dumb look in case she's going to be pissed off by the question. She paused for a moment, and looked like she didn't understood the question. She finally let go after seconds that seemed to last minutes "what is letting you think that i could be a robot, mister?" and she was waiting an answer. Brad took a sip on his beer before finding the rest of dignity deep inside of him to answer "I don't know, maybe your perfect skin tone? To be honest, i think you look too good to be true." now the beer was helping. The barmaid said "Fine, i'll take a break, we'll have a chat." and she served other customers to be sure that they now have everything they'll need for the next 15 minutes.

She came back and took a relaxed pose as she sat next to the two guys. She started back "I don't know who started the rumors about me, but if i find out, he or she better leave the planet". Brad took note of the angry expression of the barmaid "So you're not?". The immediate answer "Of course not! i'm for real". Khaled raised from his chair "Enough of the preprogramed bullcrap, she's a robot, look at this..." and he inserted his little finger into the girl's left ear. She immediately froze still. "They are all the same, this is her pause button, it's usefull when you're f*cking with one and you want to have your climax all alone" Khaled smiled, amused. Brad in quite a shock said "Let's get out of here, before someone notice what you have done to her". Khaled in a relaxed mood said "Don't worry pal, that didn't do any dammages, and she will unpause herself automaticly after 3 minutes". Brad was now leaving the beautiful robot barmaid where she was standing and followed Khaled outside "How did you find out about her being a robot?" "I saw her into a model catalog, identical, up to the single eyelash, and most of the waitresses are too". Brad tried a bit of second hand philosophy "Man, the day where we won't be able to tell if we are f*cking with a real or a robot, we will be doomed!"

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Re: Soccer-Mom Unit - 23 - Grasp

Post by KernalGovernor101 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 5:59 pm

Really good story Rman! Hoping you could potentially write a prequel to this, perhaps how Brad and Pam (a less advanced version given the fact that they met a year ago) first met and go from there....
Keep up the excellent work!

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Re: Soccer-Mom Unit - 23 - Grasp

Post by KernalGovernor101 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:28 pm

Thanks Rman. I have been a long time reader and i find your method of writing inspired compared to others (like a 9.9/10 compared to 9.7/10). From story development to the little details, this story was really great. I cant wait for your next story!

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liliwinnt6
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Re: Soccer-Mom Unit - 23 - Grasp

Post by liliwinnt6 » Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:05 am

btw, i prefer chapter 20, very detailed descriptions, very robotic
Fellas, you may address me as Boris, my ID could be troublesome for you to call me.
BTW, my stories would be updated without notifications.
https://www.turboimagehost.com/album/14 ... ock_images

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