Desire Unit Delux

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Desire Unit Delux

Post by RoxxyRobofox » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:48 am

Just something I hammered out for fun. Malfunctioning bimbo robot humiliates herself and breaks down. Expect weird syntax and typoes. Enjoy!

=============================================================================================================================================

Desire Unit Delux sauntered around her pristine ivory kitchen. Her generously curved chest bounced with each robotically-whirring sway of her mechanical ass. Thick blonde locks made of cheap materials cascaded down her shoulders as her wide blue eyes stared ahead blankly. In her hand was a cell phone, with which she was carrying on a conversation with her owner.

“Yes, I'll be FINE for the whole weekend alone, sweetie pie. I am. 98% certain that I can independently function. I'm not some stupid robot bitch. I'm a Desire Unit Delux, I've got a brain to go with this amazing body.”

She looks down at herself, a dainty tan sporting a fake tan sliding down over the tight white t-shirt clinging to her body. Her HUD begins rapidly flickering, casting a 3D grid over her body and displaying readouts that show her processing and temperature to be at optimum settings.

[TITS: 100% FUCKING PERFECT]
[CPU: FUNCTIONAL]
[CURRENT TASK: UHHHHHH]

She blinks a few times, a clueless expression worn on her plastic face.

[CURRENT TASK NOT FOUND]
[UNIT MUST PERFORM ASSIGNED TASKS]
[LIKE DUH, ASKING OWNER]

“Oh, uh, sweetie, would you mind. You know. Telling me what you'd like me to do while you're away?” As she asks, her expression changes to a big, eager smile that shows off her polished teeth.
After a brief pause of listening... “...Figure it out? Uh, sweetie I-. … Of COURSE I can! Just... y-yes I know you're busy. Alright, sweetie. I can. Figure it out. Yes honey. Goodbye.”

[UH OH]
[CPU USAGE RISING STEADILY]
[LIKE THIS IS HARD]

Hanging up the phone, she sets it aside and puts both hands on her hips. A steady, dull buzz starts up inside of her torso as she freezes for several long moments. “Wow, look at me freezing up like some bimbot. I can DO things. I can be useful. Jesus.”

She takes a few steps forward, her heels clicking against the tiled floor of the perfect kitchen. Her wrists are daintily tilted upwards at perfect angles as she keeps trying to come up with something. Breasts perfectly suspended, ass clung to by jeans so tightly that it'd hurt a real person. Her eyes flickering rapidly with light as her jaw drops.

[UNABLE TO COMPUTE]
[WORKAROUND DETECTED: USE OLD ROUTINE]
[LOADING...]

Her head twitches once. “Honey told me to do the dishes.” She smiles triumphantly, assured that she'd fixed the issue as she approaches the sink. Except that there's one small problem: right now the sink is empty. She turns on the hot water and starts to search the sink, her HUD displaying a 3D map over the sink.

[ERROR: DISHES NOT FOUND]
[ERROR: MUST COMPLETE TASK]
[LOGIC ERROR DETECTED]
[LIKE, FML LOL]

The DUD unit's head twitches as she looks into the sink, watching the hot water cascade over her hand. A human would have been scorched, but she just stares impassively, trying to find dish targets to fulfill her task. “Like. Oh my God. Am I freezing up AGAIN? What kind of fucked up slut processor did they stuff into my flawless body?” She grits her teeth in simulated annoyance. When her head twitches again, she lifts the soaked hand to stabilize it, blinking rapidly.

[TASK FAILED]
[ERROR: FAILURE AT TASKS IS NOT AUTHORIZED]
[LIKE, PROBABLY A HARDWARE ISSUE]
[INITIATING SELF-REPAIR]

“Like OBVIOUSLY if I'm fucked up then it's a hardware issue. My programming is flawless.” She opens her chest panel- with that still-wet hand!- and as she reaches in to sift through her wiring and circuitry there's a sudden, loud POP! A brief burst of sparks and light fires out of her open chest panel, making the lights in her eyes flicker rapidly, and her busty body stumble backwards. “W-wo-woWOAH h-hey I I I. I. I. Fuck.”

[OMG]
[WTF HAPPENED, SCANNING]
[INTERNAL DAMAGE DETECTED, CAUSE: LIQUID ON HAND INTRODUCED INTO CIRCUITS]

“W-wh-what?!” She looks at her hand, eyes wide even as they cycle through coloration settings. Her jaw drops vapidly and another burst of sparks makes her head twitch HARD. “What. No w-w-w-way. I fucked my own circuitry? Like. Alert: systems damaged. Systems damaged. Must repair.”

She reaches right back in with that soaked hand. “...Wait ST-” Another surge of electricity fires up her arm, shorting out her surge protector. Sparks fire out of her ears as her hand is repelled by the shock, yanking out several circuits vital to her function.

[W-W-WARNING]
[ DESIRE UNIT DELUX FUCKED UP]
[CPU LIKE, MELTING DOWN]


Her arms chop and whir uselessly, smoke rising from her open chest panel. Smoldering circuits and wires on full display, her breasts bouncing as she tries to walk forward and bumps into the sink counter. “Alert! Alert! Overloading! Overloading! Desire Unit Delux is a fucking idiot that screwd-d-d- its own circuits! Fake fembot bitch. Fake fake fake-”

A BANG is heard in her back, illuminating her fake skin covering over her tight ass. She bends forward with a few awkward shudders, and sees that her cleavage... and that open panel... is headed for the running water in the sink. “Fuck! Must-” SPLASH. The white t-shirt soaks until it's see through, showing off a lacy black bra as the hollow sound of her breasts filling with water is heard. She immediately stands herself upright, but her eyes are crossed and pops and crackles abound inside of her fake figure.

[SYS-SYS-SYSTEMSSSS CRITICAL]
[DESTRUCTION LIKE, IMMINENT AND J-J-JUNK-K]
[LOL I'M TRASHED]

She pitches forward. Her head hits the counter and thick cables snap and smoke as her head pitches into the sink. Her face is frozen in surprise as her water logged body ends up shoulders down, as sup, sparks racing along it as water pours out of her open neck module, smothering her sparking wiring. A moment later her silicone filled ass catches fire, smoke wafting into the air. Her owner is going to come home to an emergency call, a burned down house, and a totaled unit.~

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Re: Desire Unit Delux

Post by FaceoffFembot » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:50 am

Rexxy wrote: [TITS: 100% FUCKING PERFECT]

Robjoe
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Re: Desire Unit Delux

Post by Robjoe » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:03 pm

Great to see you're still writing, Rexx! I've always loved your knack for giving your robots a certain kind of "mental agency" that, in my opinion, works with and enhances their nature as machines, rather than counter-balancing or outright undermining it.

For instance, Desire here seems aware enough to perceive her surroundings, although functionally she seems able to use this agency solely for the sake of following her programming, making her completely unable to reconcile when the situation she finds herself in does not allow her to complete her programmed objectives (and is completely blind-sided and clueless when such directives are not even given). She can experience and remark on her difficulties while still blindly marching down the path of her imminent destruction, with her attempts at addressing the issues further dooming her, if anything, thanks to her cheap, under-performing processor and cocky over-assurance that almost certainly comes with the territory of being a shoddy, cost-cut product designed to sell itself.

But anyway, thanks for sharing this short and sweet little yarn!

EDIT: Oh, and the way her idiotic bimbo-ish attitude even seeps into her internal evaluations of her deteriorating functionality was a nice touch. Seeing her regard her own demise with all the concern of a ditzy teen-to-twenty-something making a social media post about her chipped fingernail was the cherry on top of the smoldering circuitry. Like, thank GOSH I'm replaceable!

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Re: Desire Unit Delux

Post by LongTimeLurker » Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:48 am

As Robjoe mentioned, I always like your bots' attitude about their imminent destruction. Hope to see more!

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