Story: Vacations in Switzerland

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Robjoe
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Re: Story: Vacations in Switzerland

Post by Robjoe » Sat Aug 26, 2017 11:59 pm

More than a little late at this point, but this thread is still at the top of the first page, and damn it, I enjoyed this one too much to stay silent.

The setting itself is far from original, of course, but I quite like the idea of a company being cheap (or stupid) enough to simply reuse its decommissioned rental 'bots as technicians. Not only are their malfunctions inevitable, it's also a mistake I can totally see a corner-cutting, penny-pinching business making. Possibly not the impression you were trying to make, but I found it amusing regardless.

My favorite bits, though, were definitely Darsi and Rhiannon's demises. I've always loved the way you write your robot characters, giving them a consciousness or agency without undermining their nature as machines (at least, that's what it looks like to me, though I'm curious as to how you intend it!), and it's used to great effect here. Seeing Darsi mock and dismiss her broken counter-part, and Rhiannon so eagerly provoke the other girls' malfunctions was what made their own reveals/destruction so powerful for me. How humiliating it must feel to realize that you, too, are equally replaceable, equally worthless, equally incapable of doing, saying, or possibly even thinking anything unique enough to give yourself individual value. In some stories, as soon as a robot's artificial nature comes out, every aspect of character is dropped, usually in favor of revealing that it wasn't really a character at all. I can certainly see where the appeal is there, but I most enjoy envisioning myself being the robot(s) in the story, so I really like how you maintain their conscious agency enough to see them feel and react to their ever-so robotic fates. Your detail of their perspective, their genuine experience of a robotic existence is what really makes your writing for me.

Darsi's helpless panic and Kat's complete inability to take control of her staff (just as powerless as human supervisors often are, ha) were great, but Rhiannon's descent into madness was probably my absolute favorite part. ("Rhiannon knew her model was twitchy. She could FEEL herself getting twitchy.") I do agree with DarkRexx that her end came a bit suddenly, but I understand if you were running low on ideas or enthusiasm being so close to the end. I just wish she could've seen it for herself, experiencing her entire being slowly unraveling at the seams as her robotic mind shorts out attempting to process the unfathomable.

Best of luck with your next work!

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