Electric Sleep series
-
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sat May 07, 2016 1:06 pm
- Technosexuality: None of your business
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
The aforementioned cowriter here. I wrote Aether's introduction and the later scene where Thesis encounters it, and I have to say that, although you've made a good effort, I don't like the edits you've made.
Let me explain; the reason why Aether's introduction was written the way it was (no pronouns, etc) was to try and give an indication of the almost nebulous quality of Aether's mind. Sort of like we're viewing everything from within a cloud of thoughts, rather than from the mind of a person. Your edited version comes off more, to me, like someone watching a monitor rather than an intelligence disseminated throughout a huge old space station.
As for Thesis' encountering Aether, my original intent was to show how, at this stage, Thesis is merely basic company programming, and doesn't possess any sorts of feelings or opinions of her own. She is, quite simply, a mere machine.
Hope that helps clarify matters for you.
Let me explain; the reason why Aether's introduction was written the way it was (no pronouns, etc) was to try and give an indication of the almost nebulous quality of Aether's mind. Sort of like we're viewing everything from within a cloud of thoughts, rather than from the mind of a person. Your edited version comes off more, to me, like someone watching a monitor rather than an intelligence disseminated throughout a huge old space station.
As for Thesis' encountering Aether, my original intent was to show how, at this stage, Thesis is merely basic company programming, and doesn't possess any sorts of feelings or opinions of her own. She is, quite simply, a mere machine.
Hope that helps clarify matters for you.
-
- Posts: 96
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:48 am
- Technosexuality: Built
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
I'm still working on this, albeit very slowly due to real life issues. With luck I should have it up by next month though.
A list of my work: http://www.fembotcentral.net/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13122
-
- Posts: 96
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:48 am
- Technosexuality: Built
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
When I wrote that last post, I didn't realize exactly how badly real life would end up delaying me. I'm still working on Electric Awakening Part 3 as best as I can, though.
A list of my work: http://www.fembotcentral.net/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13122
-
- Posts: 96
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:48 am
- Technosexuality: Built
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
I've decided to move the stories over to the wiki in addition to the docs they're normally on. Electric Sleep has been uploaded now, as well as a background information page based on my personal writing notes.
http://www.fembotwiki.com/index.php?tit ... nformation
http://www.fembotwiki.com/index.php?tit ... tric_Sleep
http://www.fembotwiki.com/index.php?tit ... nformation
http://www.fembotwiki.com/index.php?tit ... tric_Sleep
A list of my work: http://www.fembotcentral.net/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13122
-
- Posts: 96
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:48 am
- Technosexuality: Built
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
I hate being the only person to reply to this, but after a long period of thinking, I've decided to rewrite the whole series from scratch to iron out some inconsistencies and characterization issues I had previously overlooked. It may take several months to do it all, though; I just can't seem to catch a break these days. It'll be up on the wiki when it's done, though.
A list of my work: http://www.fembotcentral.net/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13122
- KinoLangDanzel
- Posts: 214
- Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2016 1:06 am
- Technosexuality: Built
- Identification: Cyborg
- Gender: Male
- x 14
- x 1
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
Eh, that cool, friend. Take your time but always take a break when need be.Esleeper wrote:I hate being the only person to reply to this, but after a long period of thinking, I've decided to rewrite the whole series from scratch to iron out some inconsistencies and characterization issues I had previously overlooked. It may take several months to do it all, though; I just can't seem to catch a break these days. It'll be up on the wiki when it's done, though.
My Friend: "There are 2 kinds of people in the world, those who suck and those who don't suck. You, my friend, suck."
Me: *puts on sunglasses* "And you swallow."
YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
-Avatar made by Battery. Thanks, friend
Me: *puts on sunglasses* "And you swallow."
YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
-Avatar made by Battery. Thanks, friend
-
- Posts: 96
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:48 am
- Technosexuality: Built
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
It feels strange to pop back in after nearly a year. Just wanted to let people know that the revised version of Electric Sleep is going well and that I hope to have it ready to share soon.
A list of my work: http://www.fembotcentral.net/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13122
-
- Posts: 96
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 6:48 am
- Technosexuality: Built
- Identification: Human
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Electric Sleep series
Sorry for the long delay, I hope I didn't keep anybody waiting. While it's still not quite done yet, I feel I should still post what I've got of my work thus far. Tell me if it's an improvement over the original.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/131u ... 1XD5Y/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/131u ... 1XD5Y/edit
A list of my work: http://www.fembotcentral.net/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13122
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 19 guests