The Peculiar Journey of Lauren Barnes, Installment Four

[TheSpotConlon]

Here we go with installment four. I can't believe I got this one finished when I said I was going to. This story becomes harder and harder to write with each part; encouragement/criticism is extremely appreciated. Also, there is e-mail now! Yeah, I didn't realize that I hadn't put it in my profile, but there you go. Spotty's got e-mail for those who want to use it to tear me apart/flame me. Anyway, I'll shut up. Onward!

Installment Four: Baby, Bleed Like Me.

Word association games for an hour. Carolyn seemed to say every phrase in the English language, and then some in Japanese, but none of them help. I could still remember some things not connected to my life; if the lyrics to Joe Jackson’s “Black Coffee in Bed” ever come in handy, I know that I can remember them all. Out the door and down the hall to see who else has arrived.

Next door is Lita, a petite girl from Bangalore. Her roommate is another Lauren, this one from Florida. She soon became “Lauren with a Memory” so that we can be told apart. Alexis from Encino. Katherine, also from Garrison, who saw Carolyn’s band play in Mount Kisco a week ago. Cynthia from the Bay Area. Molly from the Bay Area. Laura from the Bay Area. One by one we all convened on the floor, ready to leave our old worlds behind and start new ones here in Los Angeles. In our new environs, the word began to spread. Hey, did you hear about Carolyn’s roomie? She’s lost her memory. She can’t remember a thing before yesterday. She’s some sort of mental freak.

“It’s not fair, Carolyn.”
“I know, Laur. But, hey, it’s taking attention away from the fact that I kiss girls.” I laughed for the first time I could remember. Carolyn just didn’t give a shit. Her bluntness was refreshing in this climate which had already proven to be catty and full of gossip.

The first hall meeting passed quickly. I found a corner and stayed in it, attempting to avoid the glancing eyes and whispering voices of my peers. Comfort finally came in the form of Carolyn’s hand, firmly pressed into my palm right when the staring became almost too much to bear. The touch of her hand was the most wonderful thing I could have felt at this point. I left in silence, slinking away to avoid everyone I was too scared to face.

I stayed in my room for a while. I read my diary again, attempted to categorize all my possessions, thought back to the hotel room for any clues to my past. The truth was that I was starting to settle into this identity. There were no attachments but this room and my classes, no days but the ones in front of me. I didn’t know if I cherished the life I lost, but I did know that I had been liberated. All I needed was a way to prove that I was more than some curious amnesiac, which Carolyn swiftly provided when she organized an impromptu trip to go see The Thomas Crown Pursuit. I didn’t remember seeing either of the Crown films, but I felt awkward when I asked Carolyn to explain the plot of the previous one. She didn’t notice anything, but I felt like a twelve-year-old explaining to her first crush that she likes him. I guess it was fitting, though; she was my first of this new life. I almost didn’t take my eyes off her when the previews started, but I figured that it would be rude to stare.

We drove back in silence, the only two in the car awake with a full car load of exhausted Freshmen to watch. She said that she’s not exactly sure why she’s awake after so much exercise today. She wonders when all the rest of my stuff is going to get here. She curses the lack of parking spaces in Los Angeles. And then she kissed me. We were on our way back to our room, well out of range of the spying eyes of our compatriots. It was simple, clean, wonderful. I asked her if it was safe to get involved with someone who lived so close. She said it was just a kiss, and that it was just college. Something in her voice made all of my fears melt away.

Sleep came easily, but it put up a fight once it had arrived. Those dreams again. Men hovering over me in identical white suits, both angelic and profane in their appearance. I can hear them now. “Do you think it’s ready?” “They tell me that it believes in God.” “Yeah, but he ignores it.” My right arm comes apart and falls to the floor; I bleed grey. I can only find a second to think about this phenomenon, as one of the men touches something inside me, and suddenly my mind goes blank. Blank. Then pain. Then blank again. I know I once knew something, but it seems like such a long time ago–

I woke in a sweat. Throwing my covers off, I found myself face-to-face with Carolyn. She was still awake, sitting on the floor tuning her guitar. I asked her what time it was. She said it’s three in the morning, and everyone’s out on the hall just getting their second wind. “Then what are you doing in here?” “I wanted to make sure that nothing drastic happened.”

I poked my head out of my door to find people darting every which way. I wondered whether I had anything to contribute. Luckily, my feet carried me out of the door before I had any time to react, as if they were working on their own free accord. Amazingly, I handled myself very well, considering the circumstances. The girls all seemed nice, for what they were: Katherine was at college to study writing, and was in California to escape her parents. Lita learned English from watching Flashdance over and over. Molly, Laura, and Cynthia were all there seeking M.R.S. Degrees. I would have learned more about my contemporaries if I hadn’t been suddenly distracted. The noise was there for just a fleeting moment, but I knew it immediately: “This is Lawrence, Kansas. Can anybody hear me? Anybody at all?” Oh my God, it was Joe! It was exactly as I remembered it. I ran towards the sound, through what seemed like miles of identical doors and spackled walls. Walls. Doors. Walls. The sound.

A video. A fucking video. Joe Huxley and I had never met; he was just some actor named John Lithgow. My one memory had been shattered. I tried not to cry there, looking in through the doorway at the television no one was paying much attention to. I held on as I opened the door to my room, sat down on my chair, and finally began to sob. I cried long and hard, knowing that Lauren Amanda Barnes was as good as dead. If only I had known her.

She offered her arms and I fell into them. She was beautiful, warm, loving. She accepted me into her life in no time flat, and I loved her for it. Her body was perfect, and it was if she knew every curve and nook of mine. I lost myself in her because there was nothing left of me. I would have lost myself anyway. Somehow I knew I was meant to.

Bliss. “Carolyn, you could make a girl fall in love with you.” She looked sad, reticent. I stared into her eyes, trying to find something to read in them. It’s as if she could block me out as easily as she had taken me in. “Lauren, there’s something you have to know. I’m not everything you think I am.” She shifted uncomfortably, as if she was detaching a spare body part. “Look down slowly, baby. And please don’t scream.”

I looked down. Carolyn was bleeding gray.

[DollSpace]

*gasp*! Wow..this story keeps getting better and better - keep the installments coming! I love the deep emotional content this one has, too...hopefully it'll inspire me one of these days, too! ^^;

Rynnie

[Trace Venom]

That was bitchin', dude!

[Korby]

Wow. Pretty sweet stuff. Keep 'em coming, eh?

[33cl33]

Very impressive! Can't wait for the next